Roseanne for President: The First Hundred Days in Office


Finally going through with her promise/threat from August, Roseanne Barr has filed the paperwork to run for president and says on her Twitter that she doesn’t expect to win, but hopes bring attention to the Green Party by running. If she did get elected, here’s an incomplete list of what she’d likely focus on in her first 100 days in the Oval Office:

- invest in technology futures for nut manufacture- promote tax subsidies for menopausal women- hire a cabinet led by John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, and Johnny Galecki- write searing, eye-opening essay about sexism on the political campaign trail- lower tariffs on flannel clothing- officially change the pitch of “The Star Spangled Banner”