Former Senator Arlen Specter Is Amazing at Standup Comedy

“So I was sitting there enjoying the [Senate gym] hot tub when in comes my colleague Ted Kennedy, in his birthday suit. 285 pounds. Teddy flops into the hot tub like a walrus. You know the story of rising tide lifts all ships? Well my head hit the ceiling.”

Then he apparently sipped a martini in his dressing room and noted that his “dance card is open” if anyone wants to invite him to perform again. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna pack it up for the day because there will be no beating this story because it is the best thing in the world.