A Letter from the Worst Improv Audience Member


“It wasn’t long into the show before the performers exposed themselves as the deadbeat hacks I now know them to be. Immediately after the perfunctory introductions of the cast, the ringleader of this circus of disappointment stepped forward and asked for an object with which they would begin the first scene. This was the moment I’d been waiting for; knowing well that the art of improvisation relies on useful audience generated suggestions, I’d spent the earlier part of the evening brainstorming some top quality objects, locations, and relationships with which to aide these improvisers in their craft. After the request for an object had scarce left the lips of the performer on stage, I called out in my loudest voice ‘DILDO!’”

McSweeneys’ “An Open Letter to Would-be Improv Comedians” gets you in the mind of “that guy” in the audience who needs to suggest things like dildo, your mom’s room, and masturbate.