A few weeks ago, Parks and Recreation star and expert woodworker Nick Offerman told Vulture about his plans to carve a “headboard of infamy” for co-star Amy Poehler. So when we caught up with Poehler at last night’s Time 100 Gala, we asked whether she could explain what a “headboard of infamy” actually is. “I don’t know,” she answered. “But it’s so regal, and there’s so much expectation. And I want to fulfill it for him. I just feel like it’s a weird Little House on the Prairie moment. I don’t know. I don’t know what it is!”
So, has Offerman carved anything else for her, since he's a master craftsman and all? “Well, I have a 2-year-old boy. My second boy’s name is Abel. And we talk about making the Abel Table. You know what he has made me? He has made me happy and fulfilled and all those things. But he hasn’t made me a piece of furniture yet because I feel like he and I both are the crazy sentimentalists on the show. Nick and I could cry every day, all day about how lucky we are. We put too much import on everything. So I think we’re probably waiting for, like, the perfect table. So I should probably just have him, like, quickly make me a bench and just get it over with.”
Aubrey Plaza, meanwhile, has managed to get a dining room table and two bookshelves from Offerman. “My dining room table is like a slab of eucalyptus trunk, and it’s awesome,” she explained. “He made two benches to go with it, and it’s really craggly and kind of rough around the edges.” Does she pay him? “Yes, he charges us double.” As for that "large wooden dildo" that Offerman was carving per request, neither Poehler or Plaza could identify the castmember in question — though both had an idea who might be behind the order. “That sounds like a Pratt request," guessed Poehler. "It was not me! Not me! I shall not take credit for that.” Plaza's take? "I think it’s for himself. I’ve heard that in his spare time, he carves as many penis and balls as he can."