When we last checked in on the casting carousel that is the remake of A Star Is Born, Clint Eastwood was wooing Tom Cruise to star opposite Beyoncé. But if Cruise signed on, who exactly would he be playing? According to screenwriter Will Fetters, the male lead is basically Kurt Cobain, if he "never got to go Unplugged and survived and it’s 20 years later and it’s now, and he wanted to try to do that album with that understanding as this grunge icon ... In a world of Justin Bieber, if you’re Kurt Cobain now in your 50s, what do you do? How do you exist in this world?" You date Beyoncé, apparently! In any case, just for the sheer, wormhole-creating level of cognitive dissonance that would result, Tom Cruise obviously needs to play Kurt Cobain in this movie. Make it happen, Hollywood!