Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets.)
Nobody has won Jeopardy! more times in a row (74) or made as much coin from the program ($3,172,700) than @KenJennings, so it’s safe to say he is much smarter than you. Unfortunately he may also be funnier, if his tweets are any indication. Here’s something else that’s interesting about Ken Jennings: He hates me.
When Hurricane Irene was about to hit New York last August, Jennings from his comfortable home in the Pacific Northwest tweeted this:
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/107550260091551744”]
I was a bit annoyed.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/yaysarcasm/status/107550532310274048”]
I was actually being sarcastic, which Ken did not pick up on.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/107550965003063297”]
A month later, on September 23rd, I had the pleasure to correct the all-time Jeopardy! champion on something, and zing him while doing it. (One of the happiest moments of my entire life.)
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/yaysarcasm/status/117306354166800384”]
He put me in my place, however.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/117307137079771137”]
After being told that it wasn’t a good idea to troll one of the very few people in the world that can teach himself telekinesis and will all kitchen utensils from 3,000 miles away to attack me, I never bothered Ken Jennings again. It was probably a coincidence, but not soon after Jennings stepped up his game, spewing out 8-10 twitticisms a day, eventually being as reliably funny as some seasoned comedians. Occasionally he’d make fun of his own specific celebrity.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/152520312485974016”]
Jennings had an idea for an urban Game of Thrones spinoff.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/199984107311206400”]
Ken recognized what we were missing from our lives before the Black Eyed Peas came along.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/200675746363084802”]
He ruined silly putty forever.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/199635993085755392”]
Jennings can’t help himself sometimes and loves to drop crazy knowledge on us dumb peons.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/196838868220248064”]
Ken’s mind isn’t always in the gutter. Sometimes he relaxes and plays video games with his children.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/195609729647644672”]
He values life.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/195290445918650368”]
Jennings proves that writing checks is not only still a thing, it can be fun!
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/185207940637143040”]
Ken remembers one of the greatest pop songs ever written.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/185145881417367552”]
I would assume they would add a middle initial like they do in SAG, but Jennings noticed a potentially major problem.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/182509679849648128”]
Jennings is a great dad.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/180343214480429057”]
Ken should work for a political campaign.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/170771599736315905”]
He has a favorite sibling in the Brown family.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/169482686635835392”]
Jennings thought Linsanity could have been timed better.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/168395765968932864”]
He would use a time machine wisely.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/161154045996830720”]
Jennings is a genius, but that doesn’t mean he knows everything.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/160119918166163456”]
Ken isn’t afraid to call out a hipster.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/KenJennings/status/157974932599476224”]
Ken Jennings is the author of three books. His most recent book is titled Maphead: Charting the Wide, Weird World of Geography Wonks.
Roger Cormier won the Mathematics award at his elementary school graduation, so that’s something he guesses.
