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Michael Fassbender Thinks Peeing Cost Him That Oscar

Michael Fassbender in Shame.
Photo: Fox Searchlight

The handsome, famously well-endowed Michael Fassbender gets a close-up in GQ ahead of Prometheus, and if you were concerned that the highly anticipated Alien prequel would distract the nation — or profile writers — from the continuing conversation about Fassbender’s penis, then fear not. There’s plenty of dick talk in here! Sure, most of it is meta-dick talk, trying to figure out why we as a public are so fascinated with Michael Fassbender’s nether regions, or how all this dick talk affects the actor himself, but it should satisfy the enthusiasts among you. Also included: details on Michael Fassbender’s romantic life, his preferred breakfast foods, and his theory as to why he did not land an Oscar nomination for his role in Shame. It involves urine.

“That peeing cost me an Oscar,” he says of the Shame bathroom scene. And it turns out he was pretty bummed about the snub:

“At the beginning people [say], ‘You’re going to be going to the Oscars,’ and you’re like, ‘Whatever, doesn’t matter, don’t think so.’ But after a while it does penetrate. After a while you’re like, ‘Anyway, so I’m going to the Oscars…’ ” He laughs. “And you start to believe it. And I did. I thought I was going. And then I found out I wasn’t and I was upset. I was very upset by it. The first reaction was ‘What the fuck…?’”

As for breakfast foods, Michael Fassbender likes oysters first thing in the morning!

Oysters are not on the menu here but he is not deterred. “Any good kitchen,” he confidently announces, “should be stocked up in oysters, shouldn’t they?” He asks the waitress whether they have any oysters. They do not.

Yes, he is kind of dating his Shame co-star.

“I’m seeing Nicole, we’re trying to see each other as often as possible,” he acknowledges. “That’s kind of difficult when she lives [in New York] and I live in England.” He says they got together during the film’s promotion. “Nothing happened while we were filming. We started talking more on the promotion thing. So, yeah, it just sort of unfolded like that.”

And finally, he’s concerned about that Prometheus haircut, too.

“Perfect for the character,” he notes, but as Michael Fassbender he hated it. “I don’t think peroxide-blond hair is a beneficial look for me,” he says. “I just looked at myself and I was like, ‘Five-pound rent boy.’ “

He also watched Lawrence of Arabia on loop to prepare for Prometheus. Read the whole thing.

Michael Fassbender: ‘Peeing Cost Me an Oscar’