Follow Friday: @KellyOxford

Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh. You’re welcome.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets.)

Who is @KellyOxford? It’s a question that has certainly been asked before.

Oxford is also a screenwriter and the author of the upcoming book, Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar. She had been writing for years but achieved fame through her twitter feed, a series of dispatches from the mind of a mother of three from Calgary that doesn’t suffer fools gladly, not even herself.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/192707931526017024”]

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/204016878673330176”]

She’s been earning her mother of the year mugs.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/135063921882173440”]

But there is hope for her yet.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/204362116378005505”]

Kelly enjoys takeout.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/132928974878814208”]

Oxford doesn’t have the best memory.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/159384880638210051”]

She doesn’t quite understand Twitter.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/203279175979773953”]

But she can keep things in perspective.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/192697929985830912”]

Kelly probably needs a maid.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/213096976466722817”]

She is definitely lazy.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/208618582123360256”]

Oxford is also a horrible liar.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/139217705424261121”]

But she can’t be that bad. She sort of hangs out with teenage heartthrobs.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/165321009111642112”]

She also has access to Bradley Cooper.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/173937298759614465”]

But wants nothing to do with Steven Tyler.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/200422258571870208”]

Kelly is an amateur zoologist.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/207909143393214465”]

Oxford has her own show!

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/201118671362465793”]

You have to appreciate the fact that she doesn’t lie and say she’s asking for a friend.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/193011798075645952”]

Kelly knows how valuable children can be.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/177508554310287360”]

Oxford doesn’t believe everything that she is told.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/175241673645887488”]

She spoils endings.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/62724300066664448”]

Roger Cormier was the inspiration behind half of Bananarama’s catalog.

Follow Friday: @KellyOxford