Last night marked the beginning of the third season of the reality competition show Bachelor Pad, a show that's one part Bachelor/Bachelorette castoffs, one part vodka, and just a splash of tepid hot-tub water. This year, the returning cast members were greeted with Bachelor and Bachelorette superfans that they will be competing against, which include a SWAT police officer, a person who owns more bikinis than clothes, and twins (who are competing as one human being, because, well, why not?) In case you didn't carve out two hours of your Monday evening to meet or remeet these fine folks, we've created a lighting-fast compilation upon which you can judge every contestant based on just one sentence they uttered during the premiere episode. Who needs more than that?
Most Viewed Stories
Drake’s Views Is Available on Apple Music, iTunes
Breaking Down Every Song on Drake’s New Album, Views
Chelsea Peretti and Jordan Peele Eloped and Their Only Wedding Guest? This Ridiculous Dog
‘Isn’t This Funnier?’ New Girl Creator Liz Meriwether Recalls the Making of the Prince Episode
What’s New on Netflix: May 2016
Mario Lopez and Anderson Cooper’s Thirst for Michael Strahan’s Live Gig Is Going to Cause a Drought
The Big Bang Theory Recap: Let’s Get Toasted
When Did Audiences Stop Taking ‘Middlebrow’ Television Seriously?
Latest News from VultureElisabeth Moss Will Star in Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale, Trading the Sexist Past of Mad Men for the Sexist Future of Gilead
Moss will play Offred.Why the Ghostbusters Trailer Is the Most-Hated Movie Trailer on YouTube
We'll give you one guess what happened.Keanu Review: When Key and Peele’s Cat Comedy Is Good, It’s Soooo Good
"Help it make some money this weekend so they can all do it again."What’s Leaving Showtime: May 2016
Good-bye Evita, King Kong, and Dead Poets Society.Aloha Means Hello and Good-bye, Which Is What People Have Been Saying to One Aloha Billboard for a Full Year
Aloha is evergreen.6 Supreme Memes of Zac Efron’s Baywatch Face-plant
Thanks, internet.What’s Leaving HBO: May 2016
Good-bye Brokeback Mountain, A Knight's Tale, and 10 Things I Hate About You.What’s New on Showtime: May 2016
The Royal Tenenbaums! Penny Dreadful! The Stanford Prison Experiment!How Accurate Is The Girlfriend Experience, Episode 7?
Got that, Carol?
Mr. Show! Mistress America! Jupiter Ascending!Watch Nicole Kidman Debate Going Topless in The Family Fang
It's an exclusive clip from her new movie.The Good Wife’s Most Epic Recurring Guest Stars, Ranked
Elsbeth is my everything.Will Ferrell Is Not Doing the Ronald Reagan Comedy That Made Reagan’s Family So Angry
When Harry Met Sally! 99 Homes! Sex, Lies, and Videotape!The Catch Recap: Who Is the Benefactor?
"The Benefactor" deepened my love of this slick, sudsy show.RIP ‘Loveline’
Goldfinger! Airplane! Selfie!Richard Linklater on the Not-So-Inadvertent Gay Subtext of Everybody Wants Some!!
"It goes back to ancient Greece. Those early Olympics were performed in the nude."Ryan Reynolds’s Touching Tribute to a 13-Year-Old Fan Will Probably Make You Cry
We recommend you have Kleenex on hand for this one.