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This Is What You’ll Get If You Pay Extra to See the Katy Perry Movie in 3-D

We're going to be straightforward with you here. The original concept of this article was, "What things shoot out from Katy Perry's breasts towards the screen in her new 3-D movie?" That did not come to pass, for reasons that you'll discover below. Many movies this summer and last have included both 3-D and non-3-D screenings for viewers to choose from. For the most part, the 3-D option has been a means for studios and theaters to make more money by suckering audiences into paying an extra and unnecessary $4 or so per ticket. Katy Perry: Part of Me, a concert documentary that is about 60 percent talking head interviews with people like Perry's brother, her stylist, her makeup person, and a former publicist, does not need to be seen in 3-D. But should you decide to, the following things are what stand out in the extra dimension.

  • The opening credits. Co-editor Scott Richter’s name is in 3-D.
  • A random fan’s finger that jabs in your face.
  • Lens flares.
  • Something blurry in the foreground while Perry is on a hotel bed looking at a laptop. The laptop is not really in 3-D.
  • Colored confetti.
  • The music video for Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.”
  • A Hollywood Boulevard street sign.
  • The names of tour cities that zooooom by your head: Hamburg, London, Edinburgh, etc.
  • Some spotlights.
  • Some smoke.
  • Green lasers.
  • A microphone stand covered in rainbow sparkles that falls off the stage towards your eyes.
  • Graphics that show how many MySpace, Facebook and Twitter followers she has. 
  • A multicolored boa.
  • Many tweets from Katy Perry’s Twitter feed. 
  • More green lasers.
  • Another spotlight.
  • Red lasers!
  • Some audience member’s illuminated iPhone screen in the lower left corner of the screen.
  • More tour city names that zoom by from behind your head: Sydney, Melbourne, Auckland, Vienna, Dublin, Paris. Zoooooom ....
  • .... Zoooom. Tampa, Cleveland, Toronto, Vancouver, Houston, Austin.
  • A gray cat that jumps across the screen.
  • Subtitles. The subtitles are really 3-D. At one point she says, “It’s real cray-cray” and the following subtitles pop up, “It’s real cray-cray. (Crazy).” Cray-cray means crazy. Both in 3-D and not.
  • A picture of a McDonalds that is texted to Perry by Russell Brand is kind of 3-D.
  • Some smoke bubbles.
  • Lots of smoke bubbles.
  • The tilde above a subtitle that reads "São Paolo, Brazil" is totally in 3-D.
  • After Perry and Brand separate, there is a helicopter shot above a nighttime city skyline and peppered amid the illuminated office buildings are boxes that contain tweets of support for Perry. The tweets are in 3-D.
  • Another random audience members hand, again from the lower left.
  • Lots of confetti.
  • A foam cannon, finally! Foam is shot directly towards the camera and it lands with an actual cartoon “splat” sound.
  • However, the foam does not come from Katy Perry’s breasts.
  • And that's your $17 right there.
Photo: Paramount Pictures