This Is What You’ll Get If You Pay Extra to See the Katy Perry Movie in 3-D

Photo: Paramount Pictures

We're going to be straightforward with you here. The original concept of this article was, "What things shoot out from Katy Perry's breasts towards the screen in her new 3-D movie?" That did not come to pass, for reasons that you'll discover below. Many movies this summer and last have included both 3-D and non-3-D screenings for viewers to choose from. For the most part, the 3-D option has been a means for studios and theaters to make more money by suckering audiences into paying an extra and unnecessary $4 or so per ticket. Katy Perry: Part of Me, a concert documentary that is about 60 percent talking head interviews with people like Perry's brother, her stylist, her makeup person, and a former publicist, does not need to be seen in 3-D. But should you decide to, the following things are what stand out in the extra dimension.

  • The opening credits. Co-editor Scott Richter’s name is in 3-D.
  • A random fan’s finger that jabs in your face.
  • Lens flares.
  • Something blurry in the foreground while Perry is on a hotel bed looking at a laptop. The laptop is not really in 3-D.
  • Colored confetti.
  • The music video for Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.”
  • A Hollywood Boulevard street sign.
  • The names of tour cities that zooooom by your head: Hamburg, London, Edinburgh, etc.
  • Some spotlights.
  • Some smoke.
  • Green lasers.
  • A microphone stand covered in rainbow sparkles that falls off the stage towards your eyes.
  • Graphics that show how many MySpace, Facebook and Twitter followers she has. 
  • A multicolored boa.
  • Many tweets from Katy Perry’s Twitter feed. 
  • More green lasers.
  • Another spotlight.
  • Red lasers!
  • Some audience member’s illuminated iPhone screen in the lower left corner of the screen.
  • More tour city names that zoom by from behind your head: Sydney, Melbourne, Auckland, Vienna, Dublin, Paris. Zoooooom ....
  • .... Zoooom. Tampa, Cleveland, Toronto, Vancouver, Houston, Austin.
  • A gray cat that jumps across the screen.
  • Subtitles. The subtitles are really 3-D. At one point she says, “It’s real cray-cray” and the following subtitles pop up, “It’s real cray-cray. (Crazy).” Cray-cray means crazy. Both in 3-D and not.
  • A picture of a McDonalds that is texted to Perry by Russell Brand is kind of 3-D.
  • Some smoke bubbles.
  • Lots of smoke bubbles.
  • The tilde above a subtitle that reads "São Paolo, Brazil" is totally in 3-D.
  • After Perry and Brand separate, there is a helicopter shot above a nighttime city skyline and peppered amid the illuminated office buildings are boxes that contain tweets of support for Perry. The tweets are in 3-D.
  • Another random audience members hand, again from the lower left.
  • Lots of confetti.
  • A foam cannon, finally! Foam is shot directly towards the camera and it lands with an actual cartoon “splat” sound.
  • However, the foam does not come from Katy Perry’s breasts.
  • And that's your $17 right there.