The Complete Guide to Everything: Vampires


Hello there, dear Splitsider reader. We’re Tim Daniels and Tom Reynolds and we host a podcast called The Complete Guide to Everything, which is now part of the Splitsider Podcast Network. Since this is our first episode on Splitsider, we thought we’d take this opportunity to introduce ourselves and explain what our podcast is all about. Every week we tackle a new topic and talk about it, in an effort to vanquish Wikipedia as the definitive guide to all world knowledge. The catch is we really don’t do much in the way of “research,” you see. So, you probably won’t learn anything, except that we’re jealous of teenagers, we’re not sure how to properly tip a barista and we’re not great at being adults. We also have a disproportionately large listenership in the UK. We’re not sure why that is; either our charming, clever and dry wit has captivated a nation, or all those people are laughing at us. Regardless it results in a lot of listener mail read on the show having words like “flat”, “lorry” and “lift” in them. You’ve been warned ahead of time. We also don’t ever really have guests on the show. Who needs guest when you can listen to the uninformed opinions of two idiots you’ve never heard of, right? So, hey. Listen to an episode or two. You seem like a pretty cool guy/girl.

This week we cover vampires. Four years ago Twilight and True Blood exploded into the pop culture lexicon and brought vampires to a whole new audience who are now sick of hearing about them. What better time to cover them in a podcast then, especially one where you’re going to stick almost exclusively to folklore and ancient mythology? Were vampires the result of people simply not having the internet yet and being bored? We also cover the wide range of beliefs behind how to prevent a vampire coming back from the dead, from stuffing a lemon in their mouth to trapping them with their own OCD. Also while trying to solve a listener problem Tim reveals his secret childhood desire to become a clown.

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