What if all the novelty sweatshirts with slogans about grandparenting ("Grandchildren are god's reward for allowing your children to live" "I'm not retired — my job is spoiling my grandchildren") got together with all the crummy stand-up comedy about Kids These Days ("back in my day, bullying was a vitamin") and made a movie? No more what if, everybody. Now we know! That movie is Parental Guidance, starring Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, and Marisa Tomei. (Crystal has a story credit for the screenplay, too.) Tomei plays an uptight mom who reluctantly asks her more old-fashioned, apparently critical parents to help look after her three children. Thanks to the physical sensitivity of genitals, hilarity ensues, and thanks to the emotional sensitivity of parents and children, emotions ensue.