For the latest installment of "Legal and Tabloid Talk With Fiona Apple," Apple came onstage before her Clearwater, Florida, show — with a chaperone whose job it was to tap her whenever she rambled ("I know I do that") — to respond to some of the recent stories about her. Saturday's topic was weight, or more specifically, Perez Hilton and TMZ's mock outrage over Fiona Apple's appearance, and the speech was more or less dedicated to Hilton. The money quote: "To hire 'experts' to comment and say that I am sick is totally, totally irresponsible, and dangerous, and you should know better … And I'm not on any drugs. I had some bourbon before I came out here." And: "Lay off with that stuff because it hurts my feelings." Also, she gave her computer away, so she isn't reading this. (But hopefully she read this first.)
Most Viewed Stories
So, What’s Going On Between Nic Pizzolatto and Cary Fukunaga?
Oops: This New Ant-Man Commercial May Have Spoiled Its Big Avengers Reveal
Orange Is the New Black Is the Only TV Show That Understands Rape
Why Black Panther Was One of the Easiest Marvel Superheroes to Cast
Beautiful Funny Women Are ‘Impossible to Find,’ According to the Very Unfunny Michael Eisner
The David Lynchian Overtones of True Detective’s Second Season
True Detective Recap: Caddy Remarks
Kit Harington’s Everyday Life Is Not a Game of Thrones Spoiler
Amy Schumer Was Born to Be on The Real Housewives, and She’s Got the Audition Tape to Prove It
New Video Shows Nic Cage As ’90s Superman
Latest News from VultureFeast Your Eyes (and Ears) on This Very Badass Inside Out-Inception Mashup
Little voices, big noises.There Will Be a James Bond Musical
With new villains, as well as a new Bond girl.The Karate Kid and Ocean’s Eleven Producer Jerry Weintraub Has Died
He was 77.In 2005, Bill Cosby Admitted to Trying to Drug Women for Sex
According to the Associated Press.More People Watched the U.S. Women Win the World Cup Than Watched Men Win Less Important Games, Like the NBA Finals
It was the most watched U.S. soccer game ever.Lifetime’s UnREAL Renewed for Season 2
Yay!Michael K. Williams and Andy Garcia Got the Call for Ghostbusters
And Cecily Strong makes it official.These New Hunger Games Posters Imagine What the Cast Would Look Like As Panem’s Saddest Kiss Cover Band
This movie does more for face paint than The Wizard of Oz.Amy Schumer Improves Her Response to Accusations of Race ‘Blind Spot’
"I used to do a lot of short dumb jokes like this."Meet Kalinda’s The Good Wife Replacement
Life goes on.
"I don't even like cowboys, or aliens!"Alison Brie, Everyone’s Favorite Secret Rap Nerd, Kills Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Shoop’ on Lip Sync Battle
Lip Sync Battle, we've missed you.The Room Fan Trolls ‘Ask Amy’ Advice Column — That’s Life!
"I did not hit her. I did not."Why Black Panther Was One of the Easiest Marvel Superheroes to Cast
Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige explains how they avoided leaks.Danny Elfman Tells the Stories Behind 8 of His Classic Scores
From Pee-wee to Good Will Hunting.Misty Copeland Will Make Her Broadway Debut in On the Town
Taye Diggs thinks she's "got this."Amy Schumer Was Born to Be on The Real Housewives, and She’s Got the Audition Tape to Prove It
"I'm not a wife, but I have had sex with a lot of married people."Ishtar Star Dustin Hoffman Says Movies Are Bad Now
"It’s the worst that film has ever been."Orange Is the New Black Is the Only TV Show That Understands Rape
Grab a notebook, Game of Thrones.Miley Cyrus Finally Voiced a Super-Chill, Sexy Skateboarding Bird
She's everyone's soul mate.
Vincent Price introduces our latest Vulture Remix.Kit Harington’s Everyday Life Is Not a Game of Thrones Spoiler
Let him live!Revisiting the 15 Greatest Amy Winehouse Performances on YouTube
Her hits, Donny Hathaway covers, and more.Oops: This New Ant-Man Commercial May Have Spoiled Its Big Avengers Reveal
Guess who shows up.What If Demi Lovato Fell on Purpose?
America loves a klutz ...Some Stoner Genius Mashed Up The Simpsons and Akira
To create Bartkira.The Story Behind True Detective’s Cover of ‘The Rose’
That wasn't an Elvis impersonator.Yep, Dragon Ball Super’s Intro Will Make You Feel Young Again
The gang's all here!Watch John Oliver’s July 4 Shallow Dives for Last Week Tonight
Featuring an interesting fun fact about Lenny Kravitz and Al Roker.Kid Cudi’s Next Album Will Be the ‘Purest Form’ of His Artistic Self
Speedin' Bullet to Heaven.