For the latest installment of "Legal and Tabloid Talk With Fiona Apple," Apple came onstage before her Clearwater, Florida, show — with a chaperone whose job it was to tap her whenever she rambled ("I know I do that") — to respond to some of the recent stories about her. Saturday's topic was weight, or more specifically, Perez Hilton and TMZ's mock outrage over Fiona Apple's appearance, and the speech was more or less dedicated to Hilton. The money quote: "To hire 'experts' to comment and say that I am sick is totally, totally irresponsible, and dangerous, and you should know better … And I'm not on any drugs. I had some bourbon before I came out here." And: "Lay off with that stuff because it hurts my feelings." Also, she gave her computer away, so she isn't reading this. (But hopefully she read this first.)
Most Viewed Stories
New Video Shows Nic Cage As ’90s Superman
Beautiful Funny Women Are ‘Impossible to Find,’ According to the Very Unfunny Michael Eisner
Here’s Video of the Exact Moment Jennifer Garner Fell in Love With Ben Affleck
What’s New on Netflix: July 2015
11 Under-the-Radar Shows You Need to Catch Up On
So, What's Going On Between Nic Pizzolatto and Cary Fukunaga?
Welcome Back, Kotter Actress Marcia Strassman Dies at 66
How the Back to the Future Cast and Crew Knew Eric Stoltz Would Be Fired
The Rewriting of David Foster Wallace
Malia Obama Is Interning With Lena Dunham
Latest News from VultureYup, Dragon Ball Super's Intro Will Make You Feel Young Again
The gang's all here!Watch John Oliver's July 4th Shallow Dives for Last Week Tonight
Featuring an interesting fun fact about Lenny Kravitz and Al Roker.Kid Cudi's Next Album Will Be the 'Purest Form' of His Artistic Self
Speedin' Bullet to Heaven.Ballers Recap: I’m On a Boat
Reggie continues to be pain.Halt and Catch Fire Recap: Baby Mine
Donna does what she wants.Watching The Series of Unfortunate Events Teaser Is Like Playing an Unfortunate Game of I Spy
I spy a Count Olaf! Help.The Hello Kitty Movie You've Always Wanted Is in the Works
Thank you, Sanrio.So, What's Going On Between Nic Pizzolatto and Cary Fukunaga?
Sunday's episode points to lingering bad blood.The David Lynchian Overtones of True Detective’s Second Season
The man is everywhere.True Detective Recap: Caddy Remarks
Everyone hates ecigs.
The horror director is making a movie about them, and even went into the water for this year's Shark Week.Dave Grohl Did More Awesome Stuff While Having a Broken Leg
Who needs crutches when you have a guitar and light-up throne.Philly Mayor Michael Nutter Performs 'Rapper's Delight' With The Roots
Now, what you hear is not a test / Michael Nutter's rappin' to the beat.Moviegoers Preferred Dinosaurs and Emotions to Arnold Schwarzenegger This Weekend
Meanwhile, Inside Out is on pace to become the highest-grossing film to never win a weekend box office.Blood Orange's New Song Is the First Great Piece of Art About Charleston
“Tasting pain coming from a place of truth.”The Immersive, Intimate Stray Dog Casts America in a Different Light
We’ve rarely seen this kind of desperation portrayed so vividly.Ed Sheeran Was So British at T Swift's Fourth of July Party
He refuses to acknowledge who won the Revolutionary War.Lil Wayne Drops New Mixtape on Tidal
The streaming service is continuing to rack up exclusives.Beautiful Funny Women Are ‘Impossible to Find,’ According to the Very Unfunny Michael Eisner
"Boy, am I going to be in trouble," said Michael Eisner, before saying something stupid.Malia Obama Is Interning With Lena Dunham
She's been delivering coffee on the set of Girls, a glamorous job indeed.
The New York Times puzzle-maker says the game brings order out of the chaos.Bubba Watson to Paint Over Confederate Flag on his Original Dukes of Hazzard Car
Pro golfer Bubba Watson will paint over the Confederate flag on one of the only original cars from the TV series.Jimmy’s Hall Wins You Over Honestly
It's more Footloose than The Wind That Shakes the Barley, but it has a complicated and serious subject.
This is official.The Sharknado 3 Trailer Gets Political, Sort Of
But does Vice-President Ann Coulter get eaten?Jackie & Ryan Is Like Nicholas SparksLite
The underdeveloped film seems to be missing an act, or two, or three, but the great music forms an uneasy glue to hold it all together.New Video Shows Nic Cage As ’90s Superman
The film never came to fruition, but now we get to watch Cage wear the bizarre costume.Zarafa Is Wise and Elegant, for Kids and Adults
How often do you see a children's animated movie that's this insightful about death and mourning? Not very.Some of the Best Back to the Future Fan Theories
Did Doc Brown actually kill JFK? (Probably not.)Harry Styles Dishes Details on Zayn Malik
Sorry, 1D fans: Styles says the band’s doing great without Zayn.