For the latest installment of "Legal and Tabloid Talk With Fiona Apple," Apple came onstage before her Clearwater, Florida, show — with a chaperone whose job it was to tap her whenever she rambled ("I know I do that") — to respond to some of the recent stories about her. Saturday's topic was weight, or more specifically, Perez Hilton and TMZ's mock outrage over Fiona Apple's appearance, and the speech was more or less dedicated to Hilton. The money quote: "To hire 'experts' to comment and say that I am sick is totally, totally irresponsible, and dangerous, and you should know better … And I'm not on any drugs. I had some bourbon before I came out here." And: "Lay off with that stuff because it hurts my feelings." Also, she gave her computer away, so she isn't reading this. (But hopefully she read this first.)
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