Nick Brody is sure getting himself into some sticky situations these days. He stole coordinates from Estes’s safe, texted Nazir while surrounded by the joint chiefs of staff, and was forced to drive to Gettysburg to “transport” the bomb-maker, all in broad daylight. Somehow, however, he hasn’t gotten caught, despite being basically famous. He’s a much-publicized prisoner of war, a congressman, and the vice-president’s potential running mate. So it stands to reason that people should recognize him during public gas station showers. There are nine episodes left in the season, so we predicted exactly what he will get into next and how he’ll miraculously get out of it.
Episode Four: After realizing Saul is on to him, Brody is asked to plant a bug on the CIA officer. However, Saul is always on the move and switching phones based on which country he’s in, so Brody sneaks a bug into the deep folds of Saul’s beard. But how does he get so close? Brody schedules a debriefing with Saul, and when they’re together, he kisses him right on the mouth. He explains that he wants to be a very “European” vice-president, if he gets the nomination. In order to maintain that fiction, Brody’s character must now kiss everyone.
Episode Five: Brody is voting on an anti-terrorism bill in Congress that Abu Nazir wants blocked, or at least stalled for a while. Brody hatches a plan to sneak into the Capitol building’s kitchen and dump a bunch of ipecac into the chili. The problem is he is a congressman, so his attempt to pose as a chili-seasoning delivery man ends before it really begins. Instead, he pretends to want cooking lessons from the kitchen staff in order to surprise his wife. When they aren’t looking, he completes his mission.
Episode Six: Brody is asked to do the coin toss at a Redskins game. When Abu Nazir finds out, he asks Brody to flip an Afghan afghani instead of the NFL regulation coin as a sign of loyalty. Knowing that he won’t be able to inconspicuously reach into his pocket on national television, Brody dedicates dozens of hours to master slight of hand. When he does flip the afghani, he must act surprised when it is seen. A press conference is held, and he claims that a terrorist element has infiltrated the ranks of the NFL referees. Everyone generally hates refs so much that this is bought without question.
Episode Seven: Brody is asked to throw a party for the vice-president. The only problem is he already had a terrorist party scheduled for the same night! Brody runs back and forth between the parties, but as the night wears on, he starts forgetting which is which. The big blunder comes when he gives a speech about the veep in Arabic. He covers himself by saying, “And if we don’t elect vice-president Walden as the next president of the United States, that is how we’ll all talk one day.”
Episode Eight: Vice-President Walden officially names Brody his running mate. Despite the constant media attention, Abu Nazir asks Brody to pick up the dry cleaning he had left in the U.S. many years ago. Brody protests, but Nazir informs Brody that he might have left either a birthday card from Issa or $20 in one of the pockets. When he picks up the coat, a policeman who happens to be nearby questions Brody on why his jacket was so small. Brody does the “fat guy in a little coat” routine from Tommy Boy until the cop changes the subject.
Episode Nine: It’s the morning before the Republican National Convention. Abu Nazir wants Brody to work a list of safe houses into his speech so 25 terrorists know where to go. The episode ends with a speech that is both passionate and includes lines like, “We are going to protect every American from 2552 Jones St., Pittsfield, Massachusetts, to 64 Birch Ave., Tucson, Arizona.”
Episode Ten: While on a campaign visit to Wisconsin, Brody is asked to smuggle terrorists over from Canada. He is stopped at the border but given a quick pass because the Border Control officer is a Republican. There isn’t enough time to drop them off in the safe house before the rally, so Brody dresses them up in local clothes. A cheese hat is the ultimate disguise.
Episode Eleven: It’s the vice-presidential debate. If that weren’t stressful enough, Brody — to again prove his allegiance to Abu Nazir — promises to hold up a sign that reads, “I am a terrorist.” He puts the message on the back of his notepad and shows it to the world as planned. When questioned about it after the debate, he slyly responds, “Oh, haha. You thought I meant like a terrorist terrorist? No, I just have really bad wrists. I am a member of a support group for people with terrible wrists called ‘Terrowrist.’ Get it? See you guys later. As-salam alayk — I mean, BYE.”
Episode Twelve: This episode is entitled “The Choice” because America has a choice to make, as it’s Election Day, and Brody has a choice to make, as he is asked to kill the president-elect. Not only kill him, but kill him right in the middle of his acceptance speech. Considering they’re both being watched like hawks, Brody decides to get him where he’s most vulnerable: his American-flag pin. Brody rigs a pin to release a poisonous chemical and gives it as a gift to the soon-to-be-president. The moment comes when Brody needs to press the button that releases the chemical and … nothing happens. Confused, Brody walks by a trash can and smells poison. He realizes Walden threw his gift away for being too gaudy. Brody sulks. Also, he is now vice-president.
