New ABC Show Confirms the Ryan Lochte Effect Is Alive and Well

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 07: Olympian Ryan Lochte attends the Rebecca Minkoff Spring 2013 fashion show for TRESemme during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at The Theater at Lincoln Center on September 7, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for TRESemme) Photo: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images

Reality television has already brought us sequined celebrities grinding on the dance floor, overweight C-listers crying their way through boot camp, and one shameless family that thinks it's cute to start every conceivable word with a "K." So it was only a matter of time before someone (ABC) green-lighted a show (Celebrity Splash) about a group of semi-well-known people who strip down to their skivvies and jump into a pool from very, very high up. According to Deadline, contestants will even be asked to perform "backflips, somersaults, and other gymnastic feats," which we predict will all look suspiciously like graceless belly flops. And why would we want to see, say, a gold-swimsuited obese man jump off a diving board, you ask? Well, the Ryan Lochte Effect — also known as the Irresistible Power of Speedos — of course.