Why do we love the movies? Is it because they can instill in us a pants-crapping fear of every sort of vehicle or mode of transportation? Because they can, and the new movie Flight does: That centerpiece sequence where Denzel Washington lands a decimated jetliner isn’t exactly going to renew consumer confidence in the airline industry, you know what we’re saying? But Flight is just the latest in a long line of screen scenes that will make you never want to get on a (plane, subway, horse) again. Here are several methods of transportation that Hollywood has done its best to ruin for you forever.
Car: Final Destination
The Final Destination series is filled with transpo doom, none more so than this killer sequence from the second film, which will cause you to never, ever tailgate a log-bearing truck again.
Schoolbus: The Sweet Hereafter
There is a moment in this clip — about a minute in, when the bus skids to a stop — that causes your heart to leap because you’re sure that the bus is not about to sink into the water. Your heart is stupid. And this is horrifying.
Bicycle: City of Angels
We get it. Sometimes you just boned an angel, you’ve got a great Sally Hershberger do, and you just want to go biking and bliss out and think on things. But when you put your arms in the air and close your eyes while on said bike ride? WELL, YOU GONNA DIE, GIRL.
Bus and Train (Two-for-One!): The Fugitive
Harrison Ford: “For the jump off the bus, I’m gonna do kind of a jazz hands thing, both arms up, a little crinkled. And then when I have to jump away from the train, it’s gonna be more of a swan dive situation. What do you think, Tommy Lee? Do you buy that?” Tommy Lee Jones: [Silence.]
Subway: Knowing
Sometimes, the subway train is even more out of control than Nicolas Cage.
Elevator: L.A. Law
Oh, capricious elevator! Sometimes you plummet in a scene, scaring everyone. Other times, as with Rosalind Shays in L.A. Law, you don’t appear at all, causing someone to fall to their doom down the elevator shaft. That’s even scarier.
Cruise ship: Speed 2: Cruise Control
One minute you’re all, “Do you think the Fantasea Deck buffet still has shrimp left?” and the next minute there’s a palm tree sticking through your table.
Ferry: War of the Worlds
An important lesson here is: If aliens are coming, and the only way to escape them is to take the Hudson Ferry, at least get out of your car for the crossing. You’re probably screwed anyway, but you know, try a little.
Pony: Gone With the Wind
Yeah, don’t give your kid a pony.
