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kids these days

How to Get Girls: A Surprisingly NSFW Tutorial From a Child

"Don't be a little bitch." Wise words from young pint-size Steven Fernandez, a human child from California who, apparently, is killing it with the ladies. More important, he warns you against the No. 1 obstacle between you, the Man, and Bagging Women: sniffing tampons. That's right, not only does this kid know what a tampon is, but he's pretty determined to get you to stop sniffing them, which is something you do? Anyway, somehow, it actually gets grosser from there.

If this is our future, we're in deep shit, you guys.

Photo: Glazer, Eliot