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R. Kelly Is Working on a Trapped in the Closet Musical

Among the facts revealed at last night's New York City Trapped in the Closet premiere: Trapped is an "alien," and R. Kelly is happy to be "one of the astronauts to take this trip to places unknown"; the latest chapters feature a new character named "Beeno," who is played by Kelz; there are another 85 chapters coming; and a Broadway version of Trapped is in the works. Just cancel everything else — we're all set on entertainment now.