The new season of Arrested Development doesn’t start until next year, but the people at Netflix are already having a bit of fun. Today they added a ton of the fake shows and movies from the first three seasons of the show. Classics like Wrench, Girl With Low Self Estem: Newport Beach, and Caged Wisdom: Musings From Prison are there with full write-ups. Finally you can see what all the erotic hubbub was about over Les Cousins Dangereux. Okay, not exactly. When you click to watch any of them, it goes to a very, very, very bizarre eleven-minute video, in which an actor moonwalks, juggles, and performs a monologue from Julias Caesar by a fountain. Read the summaries of all ten below and go to Netflix to try to find clues about the next season in that weird video. (Tobias will start juggling and speaking in iambic pentameter?)
Update: Apparently, that short video is just Netflix’s (very, very, very bizarre) test footage. It has no connection to the show. However, that doesn’t mean Tobias shouldn’t juggle and speak in iambic pentameter.
Caged Wisdom: Musings From Prison
Based on his book Musings From Prison, George Bluth presents the latest collection from his ongoing series of life lessons and motivational discourses on the Jewish faith, all while incarcerated at the Orange County Prison.
Cast: George Bluth Sr.
Genre: Mind & Body, Judaica, Faith & Spirituality
Girls With Low Self Esteem: Newport Beach
Sunshine and self-esteem issues collide as drunken, scantily-clad co-eds with low self-worth and absolutely no shame hit spring break in southern California. It’s a wild weekend adventure that you’ll never forget … but they’ll wish they could.
Cast: George Bluth Jr.
Genre: TV Reality Programming, Television
Families With Low Self Esteem
Tobias Fünke, the semi-renowned Freudian analyst/therapist and former chief resident of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, provides counseling to families deep in crisis in this deeply probing and emotionally uplifting series.
Cast: Tobias Fünke
Genre: Social & Cultural Documentaries, Documentary
Wrench
When faced with some of the toughest cases the mean streets of Los Angeles has to offer, by-the-books detective Frank Wrench realizes he needs to loosen up, break some rules, and maybe even throw out the book entirely, in order to get tough on crime.
Cast: Moses Taylor
Genre: TV Action & Adventure, TV Crime Dramas, Television
Les Cousins Dangereux
To escape the scorn of their disapproving families, two cousins flee to a sleepy, provincial town in France but are forced to hide their incestuous affair from the prying eyes of local villagers in this awkward tale of forbidden romance.
Genre: Foreign, France, Romance
Scandalmakers
No stone goes unturned and privacy means nothing in this reality series where sordid secrets and ugly truths come to light. Go behind the scenes of today’s tabloid headlines with reenactments of real-life incriminating scandals.
Cast: Tobias Fünke, Lucille Bluth, George Bluth Sr.
Genre: TV Reality Programming, Television
Ready, Aim … Marry Me!
After an acrimonious parting of ways with fellow Nazi hunter Red McGibbon, Bullet shows he’s nobody’s sidekick by flying solo in search of comedic adventures. But along the way he discovers romance in the arms of a sassy socialite.
Cast: Jack Dorso
Genre: Screwball, Romantic Comedies, Action Classics, Classics
Mock Trial With J. Reinhold
All rise for actor Judge Reinhold as he presides over this reality courtroom/variety series, featuring music by American Idol sensation William Hung and his band, Hung Jury, as they take real families and put them through mock trials.
Genre: TV Reality Programming, TV Courtroom Dramas, Television
Boyfights
Sibling rivalry is taken to the extreme as brothers battle it out in this compilation of adolescent boyfights featuring “A Day in the Life of American Boys,” “A Boyfights Cookout,” “Backseat Boyfights,” and “I Don’t Want to Go to Bed.”
Cast: Michael Bluth, George Bluth Jr., Buster Bluth
Genre: TV Documentaries, Television
World’s Worst Drivers
Classic crashes, funny fender-benders, and stupid sideswipes are on all display in this series that tracks down the world’s most terrible drivers on (and off) the road. There is nowhere to hide from these highway horrors.
Cast: Lucille Bluth
Genre: TV Reality Programming, Television
