Alabama Watched Zero Dark Thirty Last Night to Prep for Tonight’s Title Game

By
Who wouldn't be inspired by Chris Pratt? Photo: Getty Images, Columbia Pictures

Are you ready for some football and naturalistic torture scenes!?! “Yes!” says University of Alabama’s football team. ESPN reports that last night, after a team meeting, the players watched a screener of Zero Dark Thirty to get pumped up for tonight’s BCS championship game. (How did they get the screener? Are college football coaches part of the Oscars' voting body? If so, why doesn’t Rudy win Best Picture every year?) The reasoning was they wanted the players to be inspired by SEAL Team Six’s efficiency under pressure. No word yet on whether Bama is going to postpone the game for ten years so they can methodically track down Norte Dame’s quarterback.