Bette Midler is heading to Broadway for the first time in 30 years. The Times reports that Midler will star in the upcoming one-woman play I'll Eat You Last: A Chat With Sue Mengers, which is scheduled to open at the Shubert in April. Last, written by Tony winner John Logan and directed by Tony winner Joe Mantello, is based on the real life of powerful Hollywood agent Sue Mengers, whose 2011 obituary called her "brilliant, schmoozy and often devastatingly funny." What percentage of the future reviews for this show do you think will include the word brassy? Probably 80, 75 percent, right?