Jessica Simpson is getting her own sitcom. NBC, Universal Television, and production company Electus are creating a pilot presentation of a comedy based on Simpson's life, written by Paul Blart: Mall Cop scribe Nick Bakay. (ABC taped a sitcom pilot with Simpson back in 2004, but it never made it to broadcast. On that, she played a newscaster.) In a statement today, Electus chairman Ben Silverman said Simpson was "truly a modern-day Lucy," so think about that for a while as you let the darkness wash over you.