And your boneheaded Lindsay Lohan story of the week goes as follows: Lindsay has a mandatory court date in L.A. tomorrow, but her new lawyer submitted a doctor's note claiming that she has an upper respiratory infection and is "too ill to fly." Cue paparazzi photos of Lohan on a New York shopping spree. To be fair to Lindsay, her lawyer only said that flying was a problem, and playing hooky is considerably more difficult if TMZ follows your every move. On the flip side: The first rule of hooky is "Don't leave the house without a mustache." Come on.