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50 shades of cray

Watch the Awkward Introductions of the Newest Cast of The Bachelor

Last night rang in a seventeenth season of The Bachelor, and with it we learned a whole host of embarrassing new ways that contestants on a reality dating show introduce themselves. A mere sampling: confessing that the other man in your life is Christian Grey, the lead character of Fifty Shades of Grey; promising (out of the blue) that you're not contagious; comparing your love life to your closet organization skills; purring; and making fake campaign posters featuring yourself and bachelor Sean Lowe — you're just begging for attack ads! Need more examples? See our roundup of every one of last night's contestants whittled down to one shining moment apiece.