Apparently CBS is still on high alert about nudity nearly ten years after Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. The latest in their constant crackdown is the completely nuts “Wardrobe Advisory” memo they sent the Grammys. It includes lines like “Thong type costumes are problematic” and “Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.” Come on, CBS — don’t you know that Justin Timberlake is performing and America has missed his buttocks’ fleshy under-curves? Read the full note below and accept that you won’t see “female breast nipples” Sunday night.
Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST
Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory
-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.