“Several times a day, Nick shits his pants, scream-belches, “YOU FRACKING WHORE!” at me, snorts a veritable mountain of crushed ephedrine, urinates on our bed, makes me re-shave the swastika into his pubes, and then cries like a baby and calls me ‘Mommy’ while he tries to suckle at my unresponsive buttocks. When we have company over? Forget it.”
— Megan Mullally on the behavior of her husband Nick Offerman, in a love-and-romance-themed Q & A over at the AV Club. If there were ever a couple to aspire to be like on this Valentine’s Day, it’s them.