GQ’s cover story on Jimmy Fallon is an overwhelmingly positive read, full of enthusiastic dinner quotes and random bursts of applause (Fallon’s own) and love for pretty much everyone (Mister Rogers, Jimmy Kimmel, the people who make meatballs at Frankies Spuntino). Jimmy Fallon is a happy guy! Except when you take him to a Brooklyn Nets game and the cheerleaders bring out a T-shirt cannon, at which point Jimmy Fallon will freak out. “Okay, this is disturbing,” begins the quote. “People fighting, flipping around in hoods. I don’t feel safe right now.” Then the T-shirts start flying.
“I hate this,” Fallon says. “This cannot be over fast enough for me. No one wants a T-shirt. Back to the game. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I don’t feel safe.” He cringes, ducks his head. “This will not be here in a year,” he says. “They’re good dancers, but…” The announcer screams, tells everyone to stand up and cheer. “No one’s standing up. See? They need to work on this. This will not be here in a year. It’s a new team. They haven’t figured out what they want to be yet. That takes time….Wow, I hate this.”
From now on, just hand your gift to Jimmy Fallon.