Um, okay, so. The Vampire Diaries. The show has been tilted a bit on its axis. Elena has turned off her humanity, and last night she teamed up with Rebekah, manipulated Damon, and dyed her hair pink. Things are … different. And I guess we’re still adjusting? This episode felt a little disjointed. First there was the return of the whole Shane/Silas/Bonnie thing (we will seriously write an open letter of appreciation to anyone who can clearly explain that plotline). Then Caroline and Klaus didn’t actually hook up, although it seemed like she wanted to. And finally we found out a complicated backstory with Damon and Lexi that basically turned out to be pretty simple — he just wasn’t that into her.
Stefan Is Really Trying to Keep the Ball Rolling
- Did anyone else totally dig Caroline sitting in that room with Stefan and Klaus? There was a fire, some well-fitting sweaters. Life could be worse. Plus 8.
- “My brother knows what he’s doing.” Aw, Stefan — cute. I mean, he absolutely does not, but we love how bro-ed out these two are lately. All the late-night phone calls must have finally worn them down. Plus 4.
- Interesting that Stefan remembered Katherine’s birthday immediately, which leads us to the question we still desperately want answered: Who did Katherine really love, and who loved Katherine? We have long thought that we don’t know nearly enough about their feelings for the first foxy brunette. Plus 6 because maybe we’ll find out now.
- Stefan sitting on Bonnie’s bed as she woke up reminded us of how much he cares for Elena’s friends. Remember in season two when he had Elena and Bonnie go to Caroline’s for a sleepover? And then he mouthed “I love you” to Elena in the doorway? Okay, that part was pretty terrible (wonderful). Plus 6 for consistency.
Damon Chooses to Be This Way. He Chooses His Choice.
- That opening scene of Damon from the seventies was awesome. From what we can tell, seventies New York looked exactly like 2013 New York except for small-town streetlamps. Plus 12 because say what you want about the Salvatores, but their style is timeless. A good leather jacket, you know?
- “There’s so much life that a little death goes unnoticed.” Love this line. It’s not true (I hope?), but still — plus 7.
- The enforced therapy time on the pool table was pretty hilarious, but when Damon and Lexi starting talking about Stefan, we got a little sentimental. Stefan just wanted his bro to be okay. Plus 9.
- Let’s talk about Damon and Elena. Her “I’ve never done it on a rooftop” was hot, I guess. I don’t know. Not to undermine the Delena joy, but something about this relationship just doesn’t seem that compelling to us anymore. Although it might be that watching Ian and Nina hook up makes us feel like creepers. Anyway, it was great when Damon called Elena out on her agenda. He’s lived almost 200 years more than her. You learn stuff. Plus 8.
- Ouch, Damon, that was low. Sleeping with Lexi and then locking her on a roof? We didn’t think you had it in you! We did, actually; we just forgot for a moment (season). Plus 10 for the twist, and for explaining why he killed Lexi — we’ve been wondering about that for awhile.
- But also — if Damon wanted to get rid of Lexi so badly, why would he spend six months trying to get her to fall in love with him? Why not just, I don’t know, leave? Minus 5.
- Okay, this is worth a conversation. Does Damon still want Elena? If you turn off your emotions and feel nothing and react from a place of total and complete selfishness — are you even the same person? Damon loving Elena “unconditionally” made some sense when she turned into a vampire, but now it’s hard to recognize the old Elena anywhere. The only thing that’s the same is the way she looks. Help me out here, guys. This one seems pretty obvious, and it starts with a K. Plus 9 for the possibility of Damon recognizing history repeating and choosing another subject.
- Oh, look, Bonnie is back. Points?
- I cannot say I’ve missed this Silas stuff. Minus 7.
- Rebekah: “Let’s not say things we don’t mean.” BEST. LINE. EVER. PLUS 20. Also plus another 4 for what she did to that dude who hit on her. And plus 3 for her smile. It’s so mischievous and adorable all at the same time! We loved every second Claire Holt was onscreen.
- “Don’t underestimate the allure of darkness, Stefan. Even the purest hearts are drawn to it.” Dumbledore? Is that you? Plus 4.
- The Elena/Rebekah stuff was fun. We can’t wait to see R interact with Katherine. Plus 6.
- Klaus and Caroline getting cozy over a map was cool, but blame it on last week’s dance-floor tease that we were bummed it wasn’t the OTHER pair that was flirting it up. Still, plus 8. Here’s looking at you, Klaroline people.
- “People who do terrible things are just terrible people.” —Caroline. Plus 10.
- Caroline killing those twelve witches, and the ensuing scene with Klaus, was an intense moment in an otherwise pretty light episode. We get the appeal of Joseph Morgan, but we really hope Caroline doesn’t slip into darkness. She’s the bright spot on this show, and, forgive us, we want to keep it that way. Plus 5 for close face-talking, though.
This week’s episode goes to Damon — we’re a sucker for some good flashbacks. We have high hopes for next week when Katherine and Elena finally face off. Don’t let us down, show.
Until then, I’m here: @RebeccaASerle