Every week, Vulture faces the big, important questions in entertainment, and comes to some creative conclusions. This week, we investigated the sounds made by Jurassic Park’s dinosaurs, celebrated John Williams, quiz-style, and spent a lot of time thinking about the premiere of Mad Men. You may have read some of these stories below, but you certainly didn’t read them all. We forgive you.
Q. When did LL Cool J become so embarrassing?
Even before the launch of his Sears line of skinny jeans, and well before “Accidental Racist.”
Q. How were the dino sounds in Jurassic Park made?
By eavesdropping on some tortoises making sweet, sweet love. Also: horses in heat!
Q. How well do you know the film scores of John Williams?
Not as well as you think!
Q. What do we know about Neill Blomkamp’s upcoming sci-fi film Elysium?
All you need to know is that Matt Damon disrobes for a glory shot of his tattooed abs.
Q. What’s Breaking Bad’s RJ Mitte, a.k.a. Walt Jr., been up to?
You know, groping boobs.
Q. And what about Bob Odenkirk?
He says he’s waiting for Vince Gilligan to tell him more about this Saul Goodman spinoff.
Q. How incompetent is the law enforcement on The Following, really?
We count over 30 absurd failures so far.
Q. What are the important things you should take away from Sunday’s premiere of Mad Men?
Betty’s recipe for squatter goulash, our barfing GIFs, Margaret Lyons’ theory that Don wants to be the women he sleeps with, John Slattery’s memories of having to sob on command, a psychiatrist’s professional diagnosis of Don … and then there’s also Matthew Weiner’s take.
Q. Who was the inspiration for Justin Bieber’s new bangs?
Q. Can you match the Lindsay Lohan mug shot to the crime?
Dunno, but you can certainly try!