Last night on Conan, Russell Brand reenacted all the ways he'd tried to entice a Scientology invite out of Tom Cruise on the set of Rock Star. "Sometimes, I'm a bit lost of life," Brand would slyly drop within ear shot of the mega-Scientologist, or "I wish I had a way of thinking more positively about the future." Unfortunately, Cruise just left him hanging on a thread of fabricated despondency. Meanwhile, on the Daily Show, Tom Cruise couldn't stop cracking up over Jon Stewart's joke about Hillary Clinton's biopic; Mark Wahlberg flexed his au naturel, steroid-free biceps; and Octavia Spencer dished a bit on her boob lift. Watch our compilation to see what you missed.