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The Vampire Diaries Recap: Stefan vs. Damon, Round Ten: Wanna Feel the Heat With Somebody

The Vampire Diaries

It has been a long, lonely three weeks with no Salvatores (JK — we just watch for Elijah now), but last night everyone was back in action — dance-floor action.

Dances have always been a big deal in Mystic Falls, but this one topped them all. Manipulation, random partnering, jealously, lust, and lots of attempted murder. To be fair, that’s pretty much how we remember prom, too. Let’s debate!

Stefan Might Not Be Moving on So Fast

  • Stefan and Damon throwing the football gets a plus 7, as does Stefan’s comment about waiting Elena’s humanity out: 150 years? “I’m cool with that.” He just wants to chill with his bro. Elena who?
  • Okay, look. Seeing Stefan get out of that limo with a bouquet for Elena did something to us. Paul Wesley in a tux, you know? Plus 12.
  • “Caroline’s been working on this for awhile.” Stefan totally knows C’s schedule. We love it and that scene of the three of them walking in, because they do that at every dance, and we like consistency in our lives. Plus 3.
  • Stefan reminding Elena of their chemistry was great. He was really working it. “When my hand would touch your waist.” These two have a really extensive history, and we like being reminded of that. Plus, whenever they get close, sparks fly. It’s fun to see their connection hasn’t been lost after all these years (eighteen months). Plus 12.
  • “Does your heart really refuse to remember?” “What heart?” Wow. Minus 9.
  • “Caroline, why don’t you come dance with me?” Caroline was about to chew Elena out, and then Stefan stepped in. It’s no secret how hard we ship these guys, and seeing them in each other’s arms was just … perfect. They fit. They’re honest, open, and they make each other better. No sarcasm, all love. Plus 10.
  • “How does anyone ever seem to move on?” TOGETHER. THAT IS HOW YOU MOVE ON. YOU MOVE ON TOGETHER. Plus 50, because you saw that look. SPACE saw that look.
  • “I don’t mean to be a dick, Damon, but Elena and I have history.” Personally, we think this is true, but we were NOT into Stefan and Damon getting all “Elena” on each other again, so it was nice when Paul Wesley turned out to be Silas. Plus 4.
  • Stefan wrestling with his feelings for Elena, right up to him gazing at her unconscious body through the cell bars, felt totally believable. Plus 5 for the show reminding us it’s still complicated (as if we needed to remember).

Total: 89

Damon Is Taking a Breather

  • We love that while Stefan brought a bouquet, Damon brought a corsage. What was THAT conversation like? Did they call dibs? Plus 6.
  • “You’re over-age, and honestly? It’s kinda creepy.” Why DOES this dude keep coming to all of these school events? Are chaperones allowed to close-dance with students? While drinking? No points, but add it to the list of reasons Mystic Falls High should be sued pretty much on a continuous basis.
  • Okay, Elena and Damon’s conversation on the dance floor was … weird. We think we know what’s bugging us, and it’s not him saying “boyfriend,” although, yeah, we’ll pass on seeing the Damon and Elena Go to the Movies episode. It’s that Damon, as a character, is just not all that interesting right now. He seems to be going along with Stefan’s plan, although it’s pretty unclear why. What does he want? What is he working toward? Does he want Elena to be human? His attempt at getting her to “flip her switch” was weak at best. He doesn’t seem to be motivated by much right now, and it’s too bad. Damon is at his best when he has everything to lose. Minus 9.
  • Damon’s face when Matt and Bonnie won prom king and queen was hilarious. He was all, Sure, yeah, that sounds about right; are those two banging now? WHY AM I HERE? Plus 6.
  • Damon: “An extremely handsome man came up to you claiming to be me.” Stefan: “Yeah.” Plus 8 because you know you’re hot when even your brothers like, “totally.”
  • “He talked about his hair; figured it had to be you.” Oh, Damon. We know you two share the same regimen. And also? There is more there. A lot more. Plus 7 in advance.

Total: 18

Bonus Points:

  • Seeing all those Gilbert graves in the first scene when Bonnie went to talk to Jeremy was rough. That’s a lot of family. Minus 10. We hate Elena right now, but we still love her.
  • “I think our sister deserves a shot at happiness.” Elijah is such a man. His idea for how he’d give Rebekah the cure was pretty much the most reasonable, adult plan anyone has ever had on this show. Plus 10.
  • Elena stole Caroline’s dress. What a biznatch. We’d minus points, because we’ve already said not to mess with our girl C, but seeing Caroline go to Klaus for help was kinda adorable. So plus 8.
  • Elena was horrible tonight, but she was kinda funny too. Re: “heard you got your mind wiped — that sucks.” Plus 2.
  • Bonnie: “Is this real?” Jeremy: “Does it matter?” We say this every week. Plus 15, because I think the writers know that.  
  • Rebekah finally got to go to a dance. When she told Matt he was “so beautifully human,” we choked up. It was sad watching her beg for companionship, but for better or worse, she was really exposed last night. Plus 7. See also: “You know I’d look cute in an apron.”
  • And plus 13 for Matt just being Matt. Human. Honest. Good. Great lover (?). Matt.
  • Michael Trevino returned. It was wonderful seeing Tyler show up and dance with Caroline, however heartbreaking it was that he then had to leave. Plus 15.
  • Steven McQueen came back to us! So, okay, he wasn’t really Jeremy, but he still looked great in a suit. Plus 11.
  • Elena tried to kill Bonnie, and then Bonnie tried to kill Elena, and then Stefan drugged Elena, and then Damon held her as she passed out. This show. Plus or minus points? Hard to say. Let’s just move on.
  • Sorry, but Klaus was really annoying this episode. We love the setup for The Originals, and the sibling stuff is brilliant, but man that dude was really getting all up in everyone’s business. His stunted-villain bit is getting old. We’re glad he’s about to be set free because, like, why is he always just chilling in the Salvatore house? Does he live there now? Minus 5.
  • Silas is up and at 'em, although dude looks like he could use some coffee. As we spin closer to the cure, it’s hard not to speculate, so tell us: Who do you think is going to down the potion and get jiggy with their mortality?

Total: 66

Stefan won this round. What can we say? We’re a sucker for a slow dance.

Next week we’re heading to New Orleans for The Originals' backdoor pilot. We might change our format up a little, but don’t worry — the Salvatore debate will live on come May.

Until then, I’m here: @RebeccaASerle

Photo: Annette Brown/CW