Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)
Daniel Kibblesmith (@Kibblesmith) is a comedian, writer, cartoonist, and co-author of the upcoming book How to Win at Everything. He is also an accomplished twitter person, and fortunately a benevolent enough man to shed some light on a few of his funny works.
“The funniest thing in the world to me is when someone half understands something. Now that detractors of marriage equality can’t claim the collapse of society is imminent, all of their arguments feel really low stakes. Also, I work in marketing and if I see one more commercial where a fully-grown man doesn’t know how yogurt works, I’ll probably blow up a stadium.”
“I’m scared of being in fights, but I’m enamored with the old-timey preamble of fist-naming, bicep-kissing and an inordinate amount of trash talk. I think the joke here is that one would not expect a learned man to resort to fisticuffs.”
“A lot of people thought this one was true because I’m holding a baby in my avatar. It’s true in as far as when my third sister was born, I assumed I would never get a little brother, so I got her into comics. Like the marriage equality joke, it’s just reducing a dumb argument to it’s base components and taking it to it’s logical-ish conclusion. Get it together nerds, girls want to hang out with you and you’re being monsters about it.”
“Calling yourself awkward is like giving yourself a nickname. It’s a comforting idea to think that anyone is paying attention to our minor screw-ups besides us, when the scarier truth is that no one notices or cares for more than a second. I’m trying to think of the last time I saw someone else do something awkward, but it has to be pretty awkward to be memorable, like the guy who showed me his gunshot wound while peeing through a chain link fence in broad daylight. That doesn’t really compare with like, accidentally dropping a spoon at a restaurant and being too embarrassed to ask for a new spoon.”
“I’m happiest with a joke when it rings true, and for whatever reason there are jokes that feel like they would only work on Twitter. It’s too bad it won’t be around in two years, I feel like I’m just getting the hang of it.”
Daniel has had more fruitful conversations with his father.
And other old men.
He’s as great of a teacher as Sesame Street.
Daniel has won many awards.
Kibblesmith is overly optimistic over the contents of Dog Dies Magazine.
Daniel feels the pressures of not being tardy.
His old job was no joke, and presumably didn’t leave him broke and so on and so forth.
Kibblesmith might not rush to see the new Star Wars movies.
Daniel was a precocious child.
He might have been skeptical of Dreamworks’ films if they existed at the time.
Daniel is suddenly hungry for some chicken.
Even though he’s full.
Soon it’s all going to come together.
But after that some shit is going to go down.
Sometimes his days spent on twitter can be an emotional roller coaster.
But not “first person pregnant” emotional.
He’s tired of vocalizing his confusion.
At least sometimes his questions are good ones.