On last night’s Catfish, we were introduced to Mike and Kristyn. Despite living less than an hour's distance from one another, the heretofore online couple could not see (wink, wink) their way to cementing their three-year online relationship IRL without an intercession from Nev and Max. While the episode's conclusion didn't reach Defcon Framel, Mike did decide he couldn't turn a blind eye to Kristyn's true physical form and chunked her the deuce with a diplomatic, "You didn't ruin my life. Good luck."
There were quotables aplenty ("Danglin' my bait, had a few nibbles," "Lives in St. Clair with horses," "Have fun looking like a pirate for the next six months"), along with mounting concern for Mike's emotional stability (Nev: "He's intense."). Nothing, however, captivated Twitter like Kristyn's glass eye, which served as muse to most of your 140-character paeans.
Good night, Mike and Kristyn.
I like when they're all, "hopefully we can work through this." Work through the part where you're a completely different human? 😕 #Catfish— Jean Cool Story Grae (@JeanGreasy) August 7, 2013
Pop your eye out so I know it's real. Triple entendre, DON'T ASK ME HOW. #Catfish— Rusty Redenbacher (@rustymk2) August 7, 2013
dude is so angry. I mean, he has been sending dick pics to a stranger. (he's def. not up on snapchat.) #catfish— e. (@3rika) August 7, 2013
SPOILER ALERT: The eye was like a hard plastic. Felt like hardened glue and it was curved on the back like a spoon. #Catfish— Max Joseph (@maxjoseph) August 7, 2013
Kristen is pretty awesome. Despite the lies. I mean she let us hold her eye! Inspirational. #Catfish— Max Joseph (@maxjoseph) August 7, 2013
If she lost an eye but can still cut hair, it can’t be that bad. #catfish— Tara Ariano (@TaraAriano) August 7, 2013
The girl on catfish said "steroids are not your friend" obviously doesn't pay attention to baseball— Heisenberg (@therealAkrueger) August 7, 2013