Follow Friday: @BornFeral (Megan Beth Koester)

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Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal), is a writer and stand-up comedian who took the time to talk about the possibly true stories behind some of her funniest tweets.

A Barbara Walters special about “the royal baby” is on right now. America literally went to war to prevent shit like this from being on TV.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) May 28, 2013

The only people who care that I have a college degree are the college loan people.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) August 24, 2012

Use a tea bag only once? What do I look like, an oil baron?

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) December 8, 2012

BUMPER STICKER IDEA: Ask Me About My Narcissism

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) January 24, 2013

HOT NEW INSULT: “Why don’t you fucking blog about it?”

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) July 13, 2012

Nope haven’t heard a thing. Anyway, it isn’t just the new blogs/websites that get Megan’s attention.

Every Yelp review should start, “First off, I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.”

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) August 26, 2012

Question to the owner of the car with the “We can do better than abortion” bumper sticker: Are you proposing we invent a…super abortion?

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) July 12, 2011

BOOK IDEA: “The Girl With the Meaningless Tattoos.” Follows the life of a 23-year-old makeup artist who “loves music” and rockabilly culture

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) January 12, 2013

“Meh.” - Atlas

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) October 10, 2011

“Who watches this shit?” - Me, watching shit

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) March 7, 2013

Christmas: Traveling Absurd Distances to Watch Your Relatives Watch TV

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) December 24, 2012

“Mmm…what fresh smell is this?” – Dorothy Parker, for Tide™

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) July 17, 2013

“How do I make my living? Well…y’know the expression, ‘Punk as fuck’? My great-grandad invented it.”

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) June 10, 2013

Love means never having to say “the anecdote you interrupted my anecdote to tell is tangentially related at best.”

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) September 26, 2012

If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be “doesn’t understand directions.”

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) March 27, 2012

What I lack in self-confidence I make up for in nothing, absolutely nothing.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) December 21, 2012

Turn that frown upside down! Hold a clinically depressed person by their ankles!

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) August 11, 2011

Can’t figure out if I should skate or die.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) March 7, 2012

“Women are awful. Why won’t they fuck me?” - Stand-up comedians

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) March 15, 2013

Dance like nobody’s watching. Tweet like original thought still exists.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) June 1, 2013

“YOLO!” - Someone about to make a horrible mistake

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) June 13, 2013

Limp Bizkit just played a Nirvana song, which is tantamount to your high school bully quoting Star Trek whilst beating the shit from you.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) May 25, 2013

If this comedy thing doesn’t work out, I can always just go fuck myself.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) July 4, 2013