Follow Friday: Jon Sender (@Senderblock23)

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Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Jon Sender (@senderblock23) is a benevolent, humorous individual who was kind enough to fill us in on the stories behind some of his funniest tweets.

Eating fruity pebbles alone in bed, mouth agape, mumbling I’m a cereal killa. This isn’t helping me make friends.— jon sender (@senderblock23) March 28, 2011

HEY DON’T BE SCARED OF US EVEN THOUGH OUR MOUTHS ARE KNIVES. - birds— jon sender (@senderblock23) December 24, 2012

Barnes: Let’s do drugs and kiss. Noble: Dude, what? Let’s sell books. Barnes: Yea okay. That’s a better idea.— jon sender (@senderblock23) January 10, 2013

Sorry I ate that corndog so slowly at your niece’s piano recital.— jon sender (@senderblock23) April 16, 2013

I used to always ask my mom for things & she’d say “what’s the magic word” and I’d say “abracadabra” and she’d say “you’re why dad left.”— jon sender (@senderblock23) June 21, 2011

Jon might have a right to blame his parents for his troubles.

We-are-faaaamily. I’ve got all my genetically inherited anxiety & depression with me.— jon sender (@senderblock23) August 3, 2011

“What do you want to drink?” “Surprise me.” “You’re adopted.”— jon sender (@senderblock23) June 21, 2013

What do you suppose Hulk Hogan calls his actual brother?— jon sender (@senderblock23) July 27, 2013

I’m going to make some girl Really happy one day until I stop liking her and start phasing her out in a passive aggressive manner.— jon sender (@senderblock23) January 27, 2011

Even when our relationship was falling apart I was thinking Arbys.— jon sender (@senderblock23) August 8, 2013

I have an on again off again relationship with clothing.— jon sender (@senderblock23) January 4, 2011

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.— jon sender (@senderblock23) February 9, 2012

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. I’ve learned to hate fun because I want a super buff face.— jon sender (@senderblock23) June 10, 2011

You lose 100% of the knife fights you don’t start.— jon sender (@senderblock23) September 11, 2012

My questionnaire for dogs: 1. Do you like to get pet 2. Who is a good boy 3. Is it you— jon sender (@senderblock23) August 2, 2013

I wish Fox News was just news about foxes.— jon sender (@senderblock23) February 27, 2013

Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs.— jon sender (@senderblock23) March 22, 2013

Actually it’s y’oure.— jon sender (@senderblock23) June 20, 2013

Help Me Financially, Rhonda— jon sender (@senderblock23) April 23, 2013

Capri Sun juice drinks should release an adult beverage and call it Capri Moon I am a marketing genius next question— jon sender (@senderblock23) June 15, 2013

Hey there’s a rumor going around that none of this matters— jon sender (@senderblock23) May 15, 2013

Maybe Waldo just needs time to find himself.— jon sender (@senderblock23) May 16, 2013