If you learn anything today, have it be that "Machete don't tweet." Good thing he does a lot of other stuff in the trailer for Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills. He wields a machete, catches knives, and, well, kills. He also takes an order from President Charlie "Carlos Estevez" Sheen to take down Mel Gibson. Gibson's henchmen include Lady Gaga, Vanessa Hudgens, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Sofia Vergara. Though Cuba is actually just Lady Gaga in a mask, which maybe has always been the case: "Show me the money, Judas Maguire."