In August 2012, I made a very bold but heartfelt statement: Liam is the better Hemsworth. At the time, my argument was all about possibility: The younger Australian brother has so much life ahead of him! Anything could happen! And as you might have guessed, in the past year, things have happened — to both Hemsworths, actually. A quick glance at the fall 2013 schedule (and/or the definition of life) indicates that things are going to keep happening — specifically Thor 2 and Hunger Games: Catching Fire — so it seemed only right to reopen the discussion. Here now is the first edition of our new and improved Hemsworth Power Rankings, to be revisited throughout the fall.
Category One: Actual Acting
Chris: It’s not like Chris’s Rush character requires him to give any profound, soul-searching monologues, or really to talk that much at all. Mostly, Chris is just there to be charming: to seduce women, look good in a race car, and make cheesy jokes in a British accent. You know what? Chris Hemsworth is pretty good at this.
Liam: Look, it made sense on paper: Gary Oldman, Harrison Ford, corporate intrigue. But … Liam Hemsworth should not play an “inventor,” and Paranoia was not a great look.
Advantage: Chris
Category Two: Market Value
Chris: Rush opened in five theaters last weekend and made an average of $37,458 per theater — not a disaster, not great either. But it has an 87 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it goes wide this weekend. Which is more than you can say for …
Liam: Paranoia bombed; Love and Honor was even worse (like, $16,000 total, though it was an indie); and Empire State went straight to DVD.
Advantage: Chris
Category Three: Tabloids
Chris: Has a cute baby, is often photographed with cute baby.
Liam: Oh boy. This is just … man, did you expect it turn out like this? Okay, yes, we all definitely expected the Miley-Liam breakup, and in other circumstances we wouldn’t even blame Liam. They’re so young, and Miley has very obviously changed. But then pictures of Liam making out with some new girl leaked so soon after the breakup, and there were all those January Jones rumors, and now he seems shady. He just does.
Advantage: Chris
Category Four: Shirts and Shirtlessness
Chris: If a shirt is unbuttoned all the way to the belly button, is it still a shirt? (Yes, but it is still appealing. Go see Rush for lots of this.)
Liam: Liam really enjoys tank tops. Also, wow, that D’Angelo muscle.
Advantage: Liam
Category Five: Names
Chris: Still a lot of Chrises in Hollywood.
Liam: Still the only young Liam to speak of.
Advantage: Liam
The final tally is 3–2 in favor of Chris. Chris is currently the better Hemsworth.
