Follow Friday: @horselythighs (An Ornery Horse)


A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, you might want to come on over to the website so you can see the tweets.)

For this week’s Follow Friday, we took a quick dive back into Weird Twitter. With horses on the mind it seemed right to look at An Orney Horse (@horselythighs).

@Horselythighs has a couple things going for him/her/it, but one of those has got to be the penchant for absurdist imagery.

*does that protective-mom-arm-thing when I slam on the breaks but my passenger is a giant party sub*— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) February 17, 2013

My roommate has been MIA for days *roommate is dancing around wearing gold door-knocker earrings, making gunshot and cash register noises*— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) June 2, 2013
stone cold jane austen— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) January 3, 2013

we all knew, inevitably, that she’d find a boat that makes her happy. it was bound to happen; schooner elate her— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) July 25, 2013

the days of *you’re— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) July 1, 2013

A cool date would be if you put it in the fridge for, I don’t know, like maybe an hour? They’re pretty small.— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) August 10, 2013

a cool date would be grabbing birds out of the air with your bare hands SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATCH SNATC— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) December 8, 2012

you pull back the floral curtain covering the space below your grandmother’s sink. there is a rhesus monkey furiously devouring a slim jim— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) September 24, 2013
you politely “ahem” to get the attention of the deli worker whose back is turned to you and his body collapses into a pile of meats.— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) September 24, 2013
upon lifting the lid of your dead grandmothers hope chest it emits beam of bright light. a booming voice bellows “AUTHENTIC TEXAS BARBEQUE”— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) September 22, 2013

“I hit a bird with my car and put her in my boot” is just odd and gross if you’re american and a crime if you’re british— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) May 27, 2013
what happens when your female friend who hates certain people gets really drunk? Rachel slurs— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) June 26, 2013
*scopes out your weak ass herb garden* more like SPARSE-ley— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) August 12, 2013

Goodbye and I choke try to walk away and I stumble though I try to hide it it’s clear there’s no joke I just made you read Macy Gray lyrics— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) August 20, 2013

the thing about entertaining a cat is that you will not learn anything about yourself— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) September 23, 2013

“i’m jay and love to rap” -jay-z— An Ornery Horse (@horselythighs) June 28, 2013