Follow Friday: @TimNeenan


A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, you might want to come on over to the website so you can see the tweets.)

Tim Neenan is a sketch writer at the UCB in LA, a contributor for the Onion News Network, and more. He walked us through a few of his funniest tweets.

Rejected names for twitter included “Oops! All Statuses” and “Sigh here’s more internet”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) January 22, 2013

“Though we miss Richie we must acknowledge how hard he got owned by that shark” “Bob get off the pulpit” “That muscular creature” “Bob”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 28, 2013

This is my daughter, Tatum Foxx. We named her after the White House Down poster.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 10, 2013

Not to brag but one time I had two thousand dollars at the same time— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 16, 2013

Two thousand dollars is so little money, and it has been so long since I’ve had that much at once. I once told my dad how much I made in a year out here in LA doing free sketch and improv and interning and he literally - and I do mean literally - could not believe I was able to live on it. He kept asking me where else I had money coming from. I don’t think he was worried or implying that I was selling my mouth and butt, but he wasn’t buying I was that broke.”

Twitter is a job and art no matter what anyone tells you five thanksgivings in a row.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 8, 2013

What are we doing? Tim’s talking ‘bout his relatives:

Hahaha! My mom just said Batman got “bitten by a bat.” Stick to being a surgeon, you complete idiot.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 1, 2011
Will a Wii Fit even turn on if you’re not somebody’s aunt?— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) January 12, 2012

In “wonderful world” Sam Cooke says he don’t claim to be an A-student. Yeah no shit man you just said “don’t know much about a science book”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 24, 2013

I love that parrots exist and we as a species were just like “Yep sure ok that’s normal.”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) September 27, 2012

I’m in a place I thought was a pizza place but it’s a restaurant & now I’m seated & ordering cause I was too scared to say sorry nevermind.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 7, 2013

how do you know if you swallowed a little bit of bugs or too many bugs— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) February 25, 2012

I’m into it when movie characters go “can i ask you a… personal question?” Always makes me go oh holy shit is this real life— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 19, 2013


If a character says a cuss I’m always grabbin the person in the row in front of me and screamin “I LOVE AN R-RATED MOVIE BABY!!”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 21, 2013

in the middle of EVERY movie I see, I stand up and yell, “Wait, I’m not IN THIS!” and then step-dance outta there screamin my twitter handle— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 30, 2013

Haha what if the queens baby came out and it was Austin powers. it spins around like a tornado yellin SSSSSMOKIN— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 22, 2013

1000 years ago we had judy garland buddy holly and ringo starr. now we have no garland no holly and no star. that’s obabo’s christmas for ya— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 16, 2013

Headstone idea: “Pls help I am not dead (not a bit)”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) May 31, 2013