A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, you might want to come on over to the website so you can see the tweets.)
Tim Neenan is a sketch writer at the UCB in LA, a contributor for the Onion News Network, and more. He walked us through a few of his funniest tweets.
Rejected names for twitter included “Oops! All Statuses” and “Sigh here’s more internet”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) January 22, 2013
“I have this sort of love/hate relationship with Twitter where one day I’ll think it’s really, really great and amazing and the next I’ll think it’s the dumbest thing we’ve ever done - “Sigh, more internet” is how I feel about most social media distracting me from doing anything productive. I went with an “Oops All Berries!” reference for the other name option because the name of that cereal has always been really funny to me. “Oops, All Berries?” Such a lazy name, Captain. And the idea that they would package and distribute this mistake instead of just mixing them back in with the Crunch Berries? I could talk about this for hours.”
“Though we miss Richie we must acknowledge how hard he got owned by that shark” “Bob get off the pulpit” “That muscular creature” “Bob”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 28, 2013
“This one genuinely still makes me laugh. These little “scene” tweets are always my favorite - Weird Twitter is the best at them. They’re basically like little excerpts from sketches I didn’t write. The shark funeral tweet fans out there will be happy to know this one did eventually become something more - you’ll see in my mentions that my friend @evafay told me to write this sketch after I tweeted it, so I did. It ended up being one of the biggest hits I’ve had at UCB, and the reason I now scan my past tweets for sketch ideas when I can’t come up with any. You can see the sketch here - my actors are great in it.”
This is my daughter, Tatum Foxx. We named her after the White House Down poster.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 10, 2013
“Me and my good buddy @chosenberg talk about Twitter when we hang out. Our favorite subject is the tweets we thought for sure would be big hits that get no response - our personal favorites the world’s just not ready for. This tweet is the opposite - I’d have never thought anyone else would find this funny. Twitter, man. She is a mystery.”
Not to brag but one time I had two thousand dollars at the same time— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 16, 2013
“Well, I did.
Two thousand dollars is so little money, and it has been so long since I’ve had that much at once. I once told my dad how much I made in a year out here in LA doing free sketch and improv and interning and he literally - and I do mean literally - could not believe I was able to live on it. He kept asking me where else I had money coming from. I don’t think he was worried or implying that I was selling my mouth and butt, but he wasn’t buying I was that broke.”
Twitter is a job and art no matter what anyone tells you five thanksgivings in a row.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 8, 2013
“This was typed almost immediately after an uncle asked me to explain what Twitter was. I got halfway through my description when I was overwhelmed by the need to go outside and look at the stars; to ask myself what any of us are even doing.”
What are we doing? Tim’s talking ‘bout his relatives:
Hahaha! My mom just said Batman got “bitten by a bat.” Stick to being a surgeon, you complete idiot.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 1, 2011
Will a Wii Fit even turn on if you’re not somebody’s aunt?— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) January 12, 2012
He’s got a grasp of popular soul songs.
In “wonderful world” Sam Cooke says he don’t claim to be an A-student. Yeah no shit man you just said “don’t know much about a science book”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 24, 2013
But not really of all birds.
I love that parrots exist and we as a species were just like “Yep sure ok that’s normal.”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) September 27, 2012
Sometimes Tim can get himself into sticky situations.
I’m in a place I thought was a pizza place but it’s a restaurant & now I’m seated & ordering cause I was too scared to say sorry nevermind.— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) August 7, 2013
This is when he seeks answers from Twitter.
how do you know if you swallowed a little bit of bugs or too many bugs— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) February 25, 2012
Tim likes to watch movies.
I’m into it when movie characters go “can i ask you a… personal question?” Always makes me go oh holy shit is this real life— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 19, 2013
And talk about familiar fantasy characters.
NO IPHONE I MEANT “SAURON” NOT “SHARON” WE ARE TALKING ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS NOT GIRLS OBVIOUSLY— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) January 5, 2012
And although we don’t condone talking at the movies, Tim has good reason.
If a character says a cuss I’m always grabbin the person in the row in front of me and screamin “I LOVE AN R-RATED MOVIE BABY!!”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 21, 2013
Sometimes he just has to leave, though.
in the middle of EVERY movie I see, I stand up and yell, “Wait, I’m not IN THIS!” and then step-dance outta there screamin my twitter handle— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 30, 2013
Tim’s got those topical tweets:
Haha what if the queens baby came out and it was Austin powers. it spins around like a tornado yellin SSSSSMOKIN— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) July 22, 2013
And ones for the holidays.
1000 years ago we had judy garland buddy holly and ringo starr. now we have no garland no holly and no star. that’s obabo’s christmas for ya— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) June 16, 2013
Tim’s got ideas beyond those, too:
Headstone idea: “Pls help I am not dead (not a bit)”— Tim Neenan (@TimNeenan) May 31, 2013