Follow Friday: @weismanjake


A lot of Twitter users take to the platform to test out their latest jokes and quips, but certain people truly excel at making us laugh with the available characters and constraints. With the Internet being such a big place, it can be difficult to find the comedians most worthy of your RTs and favs. Each Friday we feature one person whose consistent short-form online humor deserves your attention and to be on your Twitter feed.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, you might want to come on over to the website so you can see the tweets.)

For this week’s column, we’re looking at the super funny Twitter feed of comedian Jake Weisman. He’s an LA-based standup who ranked high on a Splitsider survey earlier this year, in which we asked the bookers and hosts of LA’s top live shows to pick their favorite comedians. In addition to being an in-demand standup, you may know Weisman from his sketch group WOMEN, his now-defunct podcast (with Eli Olsberg) The Morning After, or from a standup performance last year in which he found a bag of cocaine on an unruly heckler, resulting in a video of the set going viral (YouTube yanked the video down for no reason, but it’s resurfaced on this weird video site).

In addition to all that stuff, Jake Weisman is also really good at Twitter. Check out a collection of his funniest work on the social networking site below:

I heard that if you eat healthy, exercise every single day, read, maintain close friendships, work hard and brush your teeth, you die anyway— Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) October 10, 2013
Imagine, if after all they’ve put us through, Britney and Justin give it another shot — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) October 3, 2013
imagine being depressed enough to go to law school — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) October 1, 2013
The term “landlord” is a bit intense — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 26, 2013
Really? RT @FoxNews 卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐 — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 24, 2013
I’m sorry there’s only one episode of Breaking Bad left until you have to develop a personality — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 23, 2013
“Yeah but who cares?” -Me at a debate — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 20, 2013
He died doing what he loved, checking his Facebook notifications while driving — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 17, 2013
Imagine, if after all they’ve put us through, Brad and Jen got back together — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) September 6, 2013
The direction in One Direction is future alcoholism — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) August 26, 2013
Kickstarter idea: get a second job and work for it you fuck — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) August 17, 2013
Imagine a man saying “let’s flip the R in our name” and four other grown men in the band KoЯn immediately saying “perfect” — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) July 26, 2013
If they had TV 100 years ago the show Teen Mom would have just been called Mom — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) June 25, 2013
If 9/11 wasn’t an inside job, then how do you explain the fact that 9/11 was an inside job — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) June 24, 2013
Why would you ever hate someone for the color of their skin or their sexuality when you could hate them for their personality? — Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) April 23, 2013
“Her eyes were Facebook blue” -Beginning of my Romance Novel— Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) November 27, 2012