most valuable stars 2013

If the Most Valuable Stars Had Spooky, Scary Halloween Twitter Names

Halloween is nigh, and it’s time to get spooky. So put those cobwebs on your bannisters, skeletons on your front porch, and carved pumpkins on your stoop — and finish it off by changing your Twitter name to something scary, just like The Simpsons have been doing for years in the “Treehouse of Horrors” episodes. Okay, that last thing’s a new tradition, stemming from the explosion of social media, our love of wordplay, and the adaptability of the word boo, but it’s super-easy: Just take your name and spook it up a little. To show you how it works, we’ve gone through our list of 2013’s Most Valuable Stars and given them quite a fright. Who’s the creeEEEeeEEEeepiest (and most valuable!) star of them all? Angry Mob-ert Downey Jr., of course. Here’s the full list:

1. Robert Downey Jr.: Angry Mob-ert Downey Jr.

2. Leonardo DiCaprio: Leonardo DiCapitated

3. Jennifer Lawrence: Sinister Clawrence

4. Sandra Bullock: Sandra Boooooollock

5. Brad Pitt: Brad Pitt Filled With Snakes and Lions

6. Will Smith: Kill Smith

7. Christian Bale: Christian Impaled

8. Denzel Washington: Denz-Hell Gash-ington

9.  Tom Hanks: Tom Shanks

10. Johnny Depp: Johnny Depp of Despair

11. Hugh Jackman: Huge Whack-man

12. Angelina Jolie: Ang-Hell-ina Unholy

13. Meryl Streep: Meryl Reaper, Grim

14. Tom Cruise: Tom Bruises from Stigmata

15. Daniel Radcliff: Daniel Jumps Off a Rad-Cliff

16. Jennifer Aniston: Jennifer Anis-Tomb

17. Daniel Craig: Daniel Begs for His Life

18. George Clooney: Gore-ge Boo-ney

19. Matt Damon: Matt Demon

20. Mila Kunis: Kill-a Kunis

21. Daniel Day Lewis: Damn-iel Night Boo-is

22. Ryan Gosling: Dying Ghostling

23. Bradley Cooper: Bradley Spooker

24. Anne Hathaway: Anna Hath to get Away from the Murderer

25. Vin Diesel: Vin Dies-el

26. Mark Wahlberg: Dark HallwayBerg

27. Melissa McCarthy: Hellissa McScarthy

28. Ben Affleck: Ben Aff-yuck, there’s blood and guts on the floor

29. Liam Neeson: Liam Killer Bees-on

30. Cate Blanchett: Hate Hatchet

31. Channing Tatum: Planning Murder Tatum

32. Emma Stone: Emma Bone

33. Dwayne Johnson: Dwayne “The Shock” Johnson

34. Clint Eastwood: Clint Beastwood

35. Natalie Portman: Fatality Portman

36. Kristen Stewart: Kristen Boo-Hurt

37. Michael Fassbender: Michael GasChamber

38.  Chris Hemsworth: Bris Gone Wrong Hemsworth

39. Chris Pine: Chris Pine-Box Casket

40. Andrew Garfield: Andrew Garfield on Monday

41. Henry Cavill: Henry Have-Illness That’s Terminal

42. Jeremy Renner: Jeremy “From That Pearl Jam Song” Renner

43. Adam Sandler: Adam Quick Sandler

44. Tina Fey: Teen-a Frey’d

45. Reese Witherspoon: Deceased Witherspoon

46. Tom Hardy: Tom Beating, Bloody Heart-y

47. Steve Carell: Steve CaHell

48. Zoe Saldana – Zoe Fall-Down-a Well

49. Robert De Niro - Robert Death Near-OH!

50. Julia Roberts: Ghoul-ia Roberts

51. Emma Watson: Emma Shot-Someone

52. Robert Pattinson: Robert Flatten-son

53. Cameron Diaz: Cameron Dies

54. Kate Winslet: Kate WinsLet the Right One In

55. Jake Gyllenhaal: Jake Gyllen-Call’s Coming From Inside the House

56. Javier Bardem: Javier Be-Damned

57. Matthew McConaughey: Matthew McConaughSlay

58. Chris Evans: Chris See You in Heaven-s

59. James Franco: Maimed Franco

60. Russell Crowe: Russell Murder of Crows

61. Zach Galifianakis: ACK! Galifianakis

62. Christoph Waltz: Wrist-Cut-Off Waltz

63. Will Ferrell: Will Feral Black Cat

64. Shia LaBeouf: Die-a From La Extra Rare Beouf

65. Seth Rogen: Death Rogen

66. Joseph-Gordon Levitt: Joseph Organ-Market

67. Amy Adams: Amy Adams Family

68. Charlize Theron: Scarlize Theremin

69. Carey Mulligan: Scary Mulligan

70. Ben Stiller: Ben Still Here (But Not for Long)

71. Ryan Reynolds: Dyin’ Reynolds

72. Scarlett Johansson: Scarlett “Fever” Johansson

73. Jonah Hill: Stoned on a Hill

74. Bruce Willis: Bruce Willies

75. Jessica Chastain: Jessica Blood-stained

76. Jamie Foxx: Jamie Rabid Foxx

77. Kevin James: Kevin in Flames

78. Paul Rudd: Paul Buried in Mudd

79. Michelle Williams: Mich-Hell Kills’Em

80. Sylvester Stallone: Sylvester Secret Drone

81. Penelope Cruz: Penelope Human Stews

82. Jeff Bridges: Jeff Jumps Off Bridges

83. Julianne Moore: Julianne No Remorse

84. Jason Segal: Brazen Seagulls

85. Naomi Watts: Naomi Rotts

86. Jennifer Garner: Jennifer Coroner

87. Colin Firth: Colon Filth

88. Rachel McAdams: Rachel McAdams Family Values

89. Benedict Cumberbatch: Benedict Cumberbatch

90. Keira Knightley: Scare-ra Frightley

91. Jason Statham: Jason Mortality Stats-ham

92. Justin Timberlake: Just in Time in Drown in a Lake

93. Zac Efron: Ack! Efron

94. Sean Penn: Sean Abandoned Penn-itentiary

95. Kristen Wiig: Kristen Norman Bates’s Mom Wiig

96. Jesse Eisenberg: Jesse Bowl of Eyes-enberg

97. Owen Wilson: Omen Wilson

98. Jason Bateman: Jason Biteman

99. Tyler Perry: Tyler Scary

100. Liam Hemsworth: Liam Hemlock

If Movie Stars Had Scary Halloween Twitter Names