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Taylor Lautner, Your Newest Dirk Diggler

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10:  Actor Taylor Lautner attends the "Grown Ups 2" New York Premiere at AMC Lincoln Square Theater on July 10, 2013 in New York City.  (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)

Jason Reitman is presenting another staged reading of Boogie Nights, even though he did one at the Toronto International Film Festival just a month ago. But no matter; at that reading, Jesse Eisenberg played Dirk Diggler, but for tomorrow night's LACMA staging, Taylor Lautner will be taking on the Mark Wahlberg role, according to E!. Somewhere, someone has definitely told Lautner that he's a star, he's a star, he's a big bright shining star. Mae Whitman, national treasure, will play Roller Girl, which is far more exciting.

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/2013 Getty Images