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R. Kelly Can Write a Sexy Song About Anything — Including Dolphins

In case you weren't aware, R. Kelly can turn most anything into a song — and a sexy song at that. He proves it to Rolling Stone with string of future classics including "Sex Dolphin" ("Swimmin' in your waters with you / I wanna be a dolphin to you"), "Ice Hockey" ("I wanna be your ice hockey player, dragon slayer, girl / And we can get into one of them fights, like they do, on hockey every night"), and "Italian Hero Sandwich of Love" ("Bring you and your friend to my crib baby / And y'all can sandwich me / Like an Italian hero sandwich"). He even checks to make sure it's "hero" and not "gyro." That is true songwriting professionalism.