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The Voice Recap: Carry On

THE VOICE

Welcome to the semifinals of The Voice, Oh, Mourners of the Sprint Skybox! Tonight’s performances were pretty good, considering that no one on this show will ever be famous. It’s now become a tight race, like the Ascot!

Will, James, Jacqui, Cole, Tessanne, “Best Day of My Life”
Let’s be real with each other, this group number was kind of a shit show. Cole’s microphone was off. All of the men were horribly flat and then sometimes, without warning, irredeemably sharp. The girls really have far better pitch than the boys. One of them should win. If a man wins, I am leaving town.

James Wolpert, “With or Without You”
I know that some people do’t like Bono because of his tiny glasses and the fact that he is Bono — but I like him. I even like his rambling New York Times editorials about Frank Sinatra and the Irish economy. (Who knew they were related?) The thing about Bono, however, is that a strangled Irish tenor is harder to pull off than it seems and this was really proved true by James Wolpert. So, even though Adam was in rapturous agonies about this performance, in the style of Samuel Coleridge coming off of opium, I found this performance lacked the emotional range of the Bono original. It almost seemed like the depths of the song scared James. He didn’t sound as desperate as he should have.

Oh look! Another teen This Is the Voice has abandoned. It is Danielle Bradberry sitting in the audience with curled hair. She is performing tomorrow and I am actually kind of excited for that. I wonder if she also will be forced to sing “Wasting All These Tears on You” like Casadee Pope.

Will Champlin, “Carry On”
I love how Adam had all of his team to his house and “made” them eggs (I’m positive he did not really make them), and the whole time Tessanne was just so NICE to everyone, telling James he is an American hero and telling Will Champlin that he is a walking violin, and neither Will nor James said anything back to her. It killed me! Tessanne is so much kinder than everyone else and she is actually the best one at singing. I am rooting for Tessanne in a big way.

Anyway, this was finally a good song choice for Will. He sounded great on the verses, although he was almost insanely flat on all of the high notes. Maybe he should sing a fun. song for his next selection?

Jacqui Lee, “Angel”
I agree with Christina. This was the best that Jacqui has ever sounded. She did such a fantastic job with the phrasing and the dynamics in this performance. She was able to do her Gypsy Rose Lee belting, but also held back a bunch. I was really proud of her, especially because this is my least favorite song in the entire history of song. I was also hoping they were going to film her mom, who was, I am positive, definitely crying, but I was out of luck in that regard.

Cole Vosbury, “Shameless”
Before Cole’s performance, he went to a hair salon with Cee Lo and Blake and just sat there. (The hair salon did not cut Cole’s hair or trim his massive beard in any noticeable way.) There he had a very meandering conversation with Cee Lo and Blake about how he belongs to both of them now. It was nice of Blake to involve Cee Lo in Cole’s future. It must suck not to have a person in the competition anymore. You have to just sit through the performances, much like the viewer at home.

This is apparently a Garth Brooks song that was written by Billy Joel, and let me tell you, that was exactly what it sounded like. Cole did a very adequate job. He always sounds pretty good and last night was no exception.

Tessanne Chin, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
Apparently Tessanne is going through some personal trouble? I hope she’s okay. She was absolutely phenomenal last night. I was deeply impressed by her performance. She made me cry! She is No. 1 on iTunes, so I guess everyone else thought so too.

And that, my friends, is all for now! I think James Wolpert will be kicked off today (based on iTunes results), but I am always wrong. Also, tonight, THE SWON BROTHERS RETURN. Can you even handle it?

Photo: Tyler Golden/NBC