The word's saddest episode of Storage Wars aired last night on OWN, and it took the form of Lindsay Lohan's first Oprah-supported venture into reality TV. The premiere centered around Lindsay moving to New York to be closer to her family after leaving rehab, and because the city is less paparazzi-infested. In preparation for the relocation, we saw the falling starlet organizing the caverns of her storage unit while a crew of onlookers (Sober Coach! Assistant! Dina Lohan!) attempted to organize the emotional baggage she's been carrying around for the past 25 years. And that was the high point: Considering how drama appears to follow Lohan, it's weird that last night's premiere was so ... boring. Maybe because it's hard to sympathize with a rich person trying to get an apartment in NYC — even if her excuses for the slow move (it's not easy to get a co-op board to approve a press magnet) were relatively valid! Or maybe because the tantalizing clip OWN released of Oprah yelling at Lohan doesn't happen until at least episode three?
But on reality TV, isn't all baggage the same — even if it comes in the literal form of a mountain of boxes full with dated and wrinkled couture dresses? Watch LiLo sort through her crap, literally, in a scene layered with metaphor, and pretty much a sign of what you can expect from the seven upcoming episodes of the docuseries.