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Orphan Black Recap: A Lifetime of Bluster

Being a Prolethean is nasty business.

Art and Ang find out that there’s another clone in the hospital listed as a Jane Doe, but they’re too late to get to her. Not too long after the police discover Helena’s “angel wings” and the little girl-like paraphernalia (crayons and copious amounts of sugar) she had in her pockets, Helena is sprung from the hospital by Mark, the bright-eyed nightmare of new wave Prolethean and part of the duo that descended upon Sarah in that diner last week. Mark has found a family with the Proletheans on their huge 1,400-acre farm, and seems eager to please Pastor Henrik, the smooth-faced patriarch. When Henrik is not elbow deep in cow insemination, he’s trying to convince Tomas, the dude who kidnapped Helena when she was 12 and trained her to kill other clones, that Helena is not an abomination. Tomas is like, “Hey, guess what? NOPE,” and drifts off to the memory of ten minutes ago when he was quietly flagellating himself over her bed. Did anyone pick up on the creepiness of Henrik asking if Tomas had ever thought about whether or not Helena was able to bear children, too? It read to me like he was asking if Tomas had ever tried to impregnate her, which, considering how young she was when he kidnapped her, is vomit-worthy. That cow-inseminating scene wasn’t foreshadowing — we’re all pretty sure Henrik is going to get down to the business of getting Helena pregnant somehow, right?

Helena is obviously the most vicious clone, fueled purely by emotion, but she’s also the most childlike; I keep flashing back to last season, when she had that moment of vulnerability with Sarah. It’s interesting that their twin dynamic has manifested itself in such clear terms — good vs. evil, nature vs. nurture. But there’s something else that’s strange about their twinness; no one can figure out how Helena survived being shot in the heart, but Henrik discovers that Helena is a genetic anomaly and her organs are reversed. I’m sort of rooting for Helena to come out of this safely, so I’m glad her body is supporting some built-in protection.

Meanwhile, Alison is trying to protect herself from the sneers and headshaking of the people at Aynsley’s funeral who can’t believe she showed up. If they knew Alison played a part in Aynsley’s demise, they’d beat her to death with Bundt pans. She sort of has bigger problems, though, after setting up that false meeting and figuring out that Donnie is her monitor after all. Donnie is the worst, most comical spy — he could barely hide behind a tree trunk, so it’s no wonder he got caught! Alison drinks her way through the conundrum, but in the end she’s begging Felix and Sarah for help they can’t give her. It finally sets in that she let Aynsley die simply for being a pain in the ass, and I wonder how the guilt of that is going to affect her, considering how much she’s already starting to crack.


Cosima took Dr. Leekie up on his offer to join Dyad and get her own lab, where she can “make crazy science” with Delphine. The only thing Delphine is making crazy is me, because I keep shouting at the screen for Cosima to get the hell away from this shady two-timing emm-effer whenever they’re together. Rachel gave Cosima the results of the medical tests she took two weeks ago on campus, which feature high amounts of, um, everything, and even though she won’t let her examine the original genome, she assures Cosima it was robust, and the medical issues Cosima has (and Katja had) are purely related to being clones. Because being a clone isn’t hard enough — why not add a layer of guilt and medical misery to the idea that your body is killing you from the inside out? Rachel really doesn’t give a crap about Cosima’s illness; she also hands over Sarah’s genome, and wants to know why she can have kids, which seems to be the Question of the Damn Century.

Sarah has Art trace a call from Kira to a motel; when they arrive, Art is distracted by Daniel and Sarah follows a breadcrumb-like trail of little-kid clothes to a car with an open trunk, where the guy who was with Kira binds Sarah’s hands and puts her in a trunk.  When he lets her out deep in the wood, Mrs. S is there, and assures Sarah she’s on her side. She takes her to the Birdwatchers, the old network that helped her when she got to America with Felix and Sarah, and Sarah is reunited with Kira. Mrs. S snatched Kira and made it look like an abduction because she knew people were watching, but she also throws Sarah for a loop when she tells her that she has two tickets booked to London the next day for herself and Kira. Hello, have you met Sarah? Everything she does is in the interest of getting Kira back, and you think she’s going to let you take her kid to London indefinitely?

When Sarah shows Mrs. S the picture of Project LEDA and informs her that Amelia warned her about Siobhan before she died, Mrs. S claims she doesn’t know what the project is about. But when Sarah and Kira steal a truck and make a break for it, Mrs. S stabs a knife and fork through one of the Birdwatcher’s hands after finding out she sold them out to the Proletheans, kills the woman’s son, and then tells the woman that Sarah and the clones ARE Project LEDA right before she shoots her in the head. Um, Sarah, you should definitely be wary of Mrs. S, mostly because she is a stone cold killer.

Back on the farm, Tomas tells Henrik that Helena’s kids would be monsters. That prompts Henrik into a monologue about how science without religion is lame, which distracts Tomas while Mark rolls up behind him and blasts him in the head with a stun gun, No Country For Old Men-style, and now Henrik and Cosima are in a race to figure out whether or not other clones can have babies.

In the end, Sarah and Kira pick up Felix and they ride off into the sunset. But are they gone for good?

Unanswered Questions

  • What was that pill Allison took when she was drinking? Was it a garden variety anti-depressant, or is homegirl trying to off herself by mixing booze and pills?
  • Will they dedicate an entire episode to the play Allison is in?
  • Where can I buy Felix's painting of that naked man holding a football?
  • Is it weird that neither Kira nor Sarah cried when they were reunited?
  • What part did Mrs. S play in Project LEDA? Does anyone else think she might have given birth to one of those clones?