A Brief Survey of 2014’s Many Weird World Cup Songs

This year’s official World Cup anthem is “We Are One (Ole Ola),” a song featuring Brazilian singer Claudia Leitte, Jennifer Lopez, and Pitbull, for some reason. Good news: It is not the only World Cup–related piece of music that has been released in 2014. Here’s a brief tour through the world of unofficial World Cup music; get ready for a lot of singing English bros.

Pitbull, Jennifer Lopez, and Claudia Leitte: “We Are One (Ole Ola)

Most Chantable Lyric: “One night/Watch the world unite/Two sides/One fight/And a million eyes.”
Pump-Up Factor: 4 out of 5 vuvuzelas
Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Yes, for a month, to try to recapture all that excitement we shared.

Shakira feat. Carlinhos Brown: “La La La (Brazil 2014)”

Most Chantable Lyric: “Is it true that you want it?/Then act like you mean it.”
Pump-Up Factor: 5 out of 5 vuvuzelas
Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Yes. This song has “late-night wedding dance-floor” written all over it.

    Monty Python: “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” (2014 World Cup Edition)

    Most Chantable Lyric: Seems obvious, but “Always look on the bright side of life.”
    Pump-Up Factor: 3 out of 5 vuvuzelas
    Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Sure. This song has held up well enough over the years that a new verse won’t kill its vibe.

    Shuttleworth feat. Mark E Smith (of the Fall): “England’s Heartbeat”

    Most Chantable Lyric: Though it’s hard to make out anything he’s saying, “socks up at last or be a Brazilian breakfast” is snarky enough to work as a chant.
    Pump-Up Factor: 1 out of 5 vuvuzelas
    Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? No. I don’t like this.

      Lily Allen: “Bass Like Home”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “Move your feet/Touch that crown/Dig your heels/Into the ground.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 4 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over?: Yes. This is better than 80 percent of the songs on Sheezus, and if she mixes it properly, it’s sprightly enough to be a Top 40 contender.

      Robin Parmiter and Ian Wilson: “Bring It Home”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “Hey, hey/Here we go/Come on, England/Bring it home.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 3 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Sure. For a homemade song by two English teachers, it’s a pretty decent “Ho Hey” knockoff.

      Vaudeville Smash feat. Les Murray: “Zinedine Zidane”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “Zinedine Zidane/Superstar.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 4 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Terrifying video aside, yes, to brush up on my soccer knowledge.

      The Soccer Gods feat. (actual soccer player) Alexi Lalas: “Red, White, and Blue”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “In ‘98 we lost to Iran/I nearly drove my truck off the Hoover Dam.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 3 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Not a chance, unless your name is Alexi Lalas and you’re looking for an ego boost or a reminder of what your hair once looked like.

      Goldie Lookin Chain: “The Andy Townsend Rap”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “Pass/Dribble/Turn and shoot/When you Andy Townsend/Everybody press mute.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 1 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? I wouldn’t event listen to it now, but if you are British person and you hate Townsend, this is a nice outlet.

      Waje: “Spirit of Africa”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “Let’s go/There’s football in Africa.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 3 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Yes. I like football and Africa.

      Eversfield: “Sing Out for England”

      Most Chantable Lyric: “We will win again.”
      Pump-Up Factor: 1 out of 5 vuvuzelas
      Would You Listen to This When the World Cup Is Over? Maybe. It’s a lovely enough song, and the proceeds go to supporting cancer research in the United Kingdom. That seems like reason enough.

      Rating the 2014 World Cup Songs