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All of the Cameos in Sharknado 2: The Second One

There were so many overtly stupid things you could call out from last night's Sharknado sequel, Sharnado 2: The Second One. But youv'e got to hand it to the creators for making a somewhat-watchable parody sequel to a film that was a parody in the first place — ooh, levels! One of the ways Sharknado 2 stayed decent was by constantly surprising you with a stream of cameos. From Airplane!'s Robert Hays to Subway's Jared Fogel, Sharknado ran the lowbrow gamut. Here's who we caught (and whether or not they lived):

Kelly Osbourne
Status: She knew it was coming.

Robert Hays from Airplane! ...

And Rachel True from The Craft

Status: Both dead.

Star Trek: The Next Generation child star Wil Wheaton
Status: R.I.P.

Comedian and famous Twitterer Kelly Oxford
Status:
Yes. She died.

Andy Dick
Status:
Alive and incompetent.

The Naked Cowboy
Status:
Not in the movie long enough to die, but who knows, really.

Al Roker and Matt Lauer
Status:
Got lots of screentime; somehow survived.

Salt-N-Pepa's Sandy "Pepa" Denton
Status:
Killed while riding a Citi Bike! Weirdly NYC-specific death.

The Weather Channel's Stephanie Abrams
Status:
Recommends you stay indoors while she stays alive.

"Scream Queen" Tiffany Shepis
Status: Duh, she dies.

30 Rock's Judah Friedlander
Status: At least he didn't have to wear that trucker hat this time? Dead.

Taxi's Judd Hirsch

Status: Couldn't do a simple rope swing over a bunch of sharks. Dead.

Subway's Jared Fogel
Status:
Survived with his good health intact. You can't kill the sponsor.

The Howard Stern Show's Benjy Bronk
Status:
Bye.

Biz Markie
Status:
Lives and is very helpful.

Downtown Julie Brown
Status:
She's a nurse, so she lives.

"Doctor" Billy Ray Cyrus
Status:
Couldn't save Tara Reid's hand because it was stuck somewhere in a shark's mouth, but some how manages to stay alive.

Daymond John from Shark Tank

Status: Turned back to grab a briefcase of money (ha! Get it?) and perished.

Perez Hilton
Status:
You can't not kill Perez Hilton. Even he knows that.

Richard Kind

Status: Does not die, but does do this:

Stand-up comedian Robert Klein
Status:
As the mayor of NYC, he must live.

Pro wrestler Kurt Angle
Status:
Lives! And doesn't even have to fight anyone.

Live With Kelly & Michael co-hosts Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan
Status:
He fights a shark; she stabs one with her stiletto. They live.

Live With Kelly & Michael producer Michael Gelman

Status: Oh, no. 

Did I miss anyone? Let me know in the comments. But you'll have to GIF them yourself, because there's no way I'm watching this thing ever again.