Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

our bodies ourselves

Everything You Need to Know About Your Body, by Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz loves her body — so much so that for the first time in her 20-year career, she'll appear naked onscreen alongside Jason Segel in Sex Tape. But she's also really into the body, meaning not just the sexy parts, but all of the weird, inappropriate things it excretes and secretes. She even wrote a book about it. Here’s a roundup of Cameron Diaz’s best body science, from why you should take a mirror to your vagina to why she never gets constipated.

Hair

 “Personally I think laser hair removal sounds like a crazy idea … Pubic hair also serves as a pretty draping that makes it a little mysterious to the one who might be courting your sexiness. Pubes keep the goods private, which can entice a lover to come and take a closer look at what you have to offer.”  —The Body Book

“I didn't say what I prefer, I just said pubic hair has a purpose. You can do what you want with it, I don't care — you can shave it off every day, wax it off every day, turn it into a bonsai — I don't care. I just said consider maybe not removing it permanently and forever with laser treatment.” —Glamour U.K., January 2014

“Dye it blue if you want to. I’m just doing, like, a call to my ladies out there, saying keep your options open. Don’t do it forever. Besides, what happens when the new guy you’re dating is like, ‘Where’d it all go!?’ Maybe he prefers a woman with some hair rather than a woman who looks like a little girl.” —InStyle, May 2014

“Look, I like my hair. I like the way it feels. It feels good to touch — better than good, really. And when I twist it up tight like that, I just barely brush my cheek. I just barely feel it. I’m not jabbing myself.” —Esquire, July 2014

“So I believe that if you’re doing something forever. Ever. It don’t come back. And you might change your mind. And the man who thinks it’s sexy now, you might change your mind about him too.” —The Graham Norton Show, April 2014

“And then you’re going to have to stick something to it to dress it up every once in a while. I would invest in merkins.” —Chelsea Lately, March 2014

On Gwyneth Paltrow’s pubic hair: “I mean, she is obsessed with it. And when she takes a bath it literally sways like seaweed. I swear.” —The Graham Norton Show, 2012

Vaginas

“Your vagina is an incredible, lovely place, an inspirer of art and desire, and the gateway through which human life can enter the world.” —The Body Book

“We think the vagina’s on the outside, and the vagina’s on the inside of us. So I say grab a mirror and play along. Get in there. Learn about it … You’re supposed to treat it like the beautiful flower, the delicate flower that it is. And you’re supposed to nurture it in all the ways that it needs nurturing.” —Chelsea Lately, March 2014

“I like to think of it as a flower that opens up to the beauty of the world and nature.” —The Queen Latifah Show, January 2014

Poop

“Now I know that some people don’t like talking about their bowel movements, but here’s why I’m talking about it: because your poop is a key indicator of your overall health. So let’s get past the ick quotient and the modesty factor and become more familiar with what comes out the bottom of your beautiful bottom. Because poop is not ‘eeeew.’ It’s knowledge.” —The Body Book

“I’m not a girl that gets constipated. I drink a lot of water and I eat a lot of fiber. Thank gosh.” —The Dr. Oz Show, June 2014

"By the way, if you're connected to those things — your pee, your poop, and your sweat — that's the easiest way and the most frequent way that you can be connected to what's going on in your body. Because pee, poop, and sweat is the way that we get rid of toxins in our body." —Oprah Prime, March 2014

Skin

“You might think my life is always totally glam, but I used to have horrible acne — deep, boiling pimples — the kind that hurts so badly, I didn’t want to leave my house.” —Seventeen, January 2014

“Life is long. I'm not going to say that I haven't tried those things, because everybody has, all my girlfriends have — things like Botox and fillers. It's part of figuring things out, knowing yourself and going, 'Oh right, this doesn't work for me.’” —Irish Independent, April 2014

Sweat

“I love to sweat … Sweating is FUN. Moving and sweating are what we women were made to do.” —The Body Book

"I don't believe in antiperspirant. It's really bad for you. I haven't used it for almost 20 years." —E!, April 2014

Boobs

“Whatever the shape, whatever the size, boobs — or mammary glands — are modified sweat glands whose primary biological function is to create milk for our young. Yes, they are sexy. Yes, they look great in a plunge halter. But at their most basic, they are part of the human need for food.” —The Body Book

"I have to admit that I like my breasts to be firm and pert. My mother always told me that the perfect breast fits into a champagne glass. I found that cool and was happy that my breast stayed small ... Many women think you need large breasts, but I'm the living proof that you can go far with small ones." —Germany’s TV Movie, June 2011

“[My grandmother] used to go out there and cut rattlesnake heads off with a big machete. Bap! She’d be walking around topless — and my granny, she had some chongas. I mean wow. And there she was, going from one rock to another. Out there all by herself. Naked, snake’s blood all over her. All of that. She was just so fucking cool.” Esquire

Gas

“At one point a sip of Coke prompts an unexpected burp; [Cameron Diaz] exhales clownishly over her shoulder, then starts blowing bubbles through her straw.” —W magazine, December 2006

Eva Mendes on Cameron’s gas: “Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can't belch. One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. We were in side-by-side beds — her disgusting bodily function versus mine. It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch-off!” —Metro U.K., January 2008

So obviously she can burp on command: 

Photo-Illustration: Maya Robinson and Photo by Getty